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No, God Will Not Remove Your Character Defects Or Your Weaknesses…
By Dr. William K. Larkin on March 1, 2010
They are too important in the overall picture. To remove them would be to tear out of you a part that is intended to be an important sign post and signal.
Your character defects, your weaknesses, are the other end of the same stick which is your strengths. It's all on the same line of energy, just at separate ends. When you are heading into a DownSpiral, you will play to your character defects. When you are in an UpSpiral, you will have a greater tendency to play to your character strengths, especially if you know what they are. In fact, if you know what your character strengths are and you know that you need to stay in an UpSpiral to play 
to them, you are more than likely going to do that. It's just easier.
Focus on your character defects and getting rid of them and they will grow. Worry that God hasn't removed them and you get frustrated, irritated, and stuck.
Shine the light on their opposites, which are your character strengths, and your character strengths will grow and grow and grow infinitely. In fact, they can grow to a "genius" level if you feed them and grow them over 20 years.
There is an interesting twist here that I have noticed in researching various 12 step addiction movements. One of the steps is to be willing to have your character defects removed by God. It just says "willing,"
which is very important. It doesn't say brood over them if they aren't removed and use that as an excuse not to grow and live the fully-lived life.
Your weaknesses change very little over a lifetime because they are signposts pointing you in the direction of your strengths, which are infinitely malleable.
Think about this: your weaknesses are the opposites of the strengths you haven't claimed and moved into flexing and growing. They are also reminders when you get off track to go to your strengths rather than to play with the fire of your character defects. Your weaknesses are fire alarms. Don't remove them. See where they point you and learn to grow from them.
13 Comments
Judy wrote on Mon Mar 1st, 5:12pm:
I’ve never expected God or anyone else to remove my character weaknesses - but I’ve also never thought about them as being the opposite of my strengths. It is so true that a DownSpiral attitude plays to defects or weaknesses, and that in an UpSpiral your strengths are in focus. The month of February was one of the most “UpSpiral” months I’ve had in a long time, and I find that I’m loving myself more, loving others more, being more productive, being open to the possibilities of life in general. I’m finding joy in so many things, small things, and amazingly it’s coming back to me in the form of new contacts, business opportunities, and a sense of well-being that was only a vague memory a few months ago. Thank you, Dr. Larkin, for this wonderful path.
Judith wrote on Mon Mar 1st, 5:55pm:
Most times we are our own worst critics, learning to be kind and gentle to myself and learning my strengths is an opportunity I am greatly looking forward to. I have found over the past month that focusing on the positive has made my life much richer and peaceful - one of the most important aspects of life for me is harmony. Since practicing gratitude, peace, joy, love and hope there is much more harmony in my life, it’s contageous.
Al wrote on Mon Mar 1st, 9:04pm:
Recently not only am I listing character defects as I see them but I started a list in regards to the serenity prayer as to “things I can change”....I have found that outside of the world and other people I had nothing to list under what I can not change.
Everything that I allowed to bring to the down spiral I can change if I set my mind to it; which will bring me serenity.
Kathy W wrote on Tue Mar 2nd, 4:34pm:
‘Focus on your character defects and getting rid of them and they will grow. Worry that God hasn’t removed them and you get frustrated, irritated, and stuck’.
Wow, very powerful. This is so very true.
That is why I am with every waking moment thinking of what I want in life. I support myself with pausing gratitude. I have been gentle with myself when I do get snarled in the ‘everyday steps’ of relationships that only support negative feelings.
At first when doing the pausing I did all or nothing. Now I start out with all and then end up pausing just one word, to really feel it. I have nailed gratitude. I have happily gotten more comfortable with the word LOVE. I will work on them all however, now one at a time so I can cherish its essence….and feel its total transforming results.
I relish life and life is relishing me.
It is a blessings to know that there are NO limits with this complete living experience.
Lea Jacobs wrote on Tue Mar 2nd, 5:00pm:
It’s a miracle to me to finally reconcile so fully with my character defects that I welcome them on the highway of my life. I see them now as milemarkers, road signs, and warnings. And, I dare say, I have elevated them to the status of mental police, showing me exactly where not to go and protecting me from my old bad habits of mentally speeding right into dark depression and despair. I just make a U-turn in the opposite direction to find the brightest and best places within myself, those places most able to connect me to my Creative Source and to connect me to you. Just the simple daily repetition of a few easy mental exercises yields amazing results! I am ready to pass this along to EVERYONE. . .
Suzanne wrote on Wed Mar 3rd, 10:37am:
I appreciate both ends of my stick, for they offer me contrast.
When I face a challenge and use my strengths to match it, I become more involved in the solution, positivity guides me - like a skilled river guide.
I choose to light up my strength side - I am willing to bring all parts of me to the peace table of my heart and open to the grand possibility of my life…
flowing with the current.
The hands prayer, the pulsing of the emotional gym are daily tools of my transformation. Thank you Dr. Larkin for the reminder to notice, without judgement, which direction of the stick I am pointed to.
Carol wrote on Wed Mar 3rd, 10:44am:
Gods gift is that light can be shone on the weaknesses and their true value can be understood and accepted. Then self-recrimination becomes a thing of the past. It is wonderful to have a new perspective when I find myself feeling weak or wrong. How much more smoothly life flows with that insight.
BarbaraLily wrote on Thu Mar 4th, 1:06pm:
One of the most meaningful effects of this work is to feel united with oneself and not divided and at “war” with who I am. I know I have strengths and I now look to them for guidance. I no longer “gang” up on myself over my weaknesses or feel guilty when I’m not perfect.
When I would engage in self-help efforts in the past, often I would begin to feel that I had discovered that there was yet one more thing “wrong” with me and that I had such a long way to go to “improve.” This program is so different. I feel such acceptance of myself and even admiration. I am strong, I have heroes who help me, I look to the positive with faith. Gratitude, peace, love, joy.
Dreaming Big wrote on Thu Mar 4th, 2:51pm:
Strengths, weaknesses, defects, WOW!
Everytime I think of all that I am learning it creates abundance in my life even when some of it is not as I had hoped or disguised it all to be!
I have been learning recently that one of my Character Defects/Weaknesses is truly an asset as well, it just has to be used in the correct ratios and at the right times!
That one specific trait/defect for me is “Independance”
Being who I was as a young person I kept to myself, set goals and dreams and achieved them mostly quietly and alone. This created a great sense of awareness of my strength and ability to achieve things I focused on yet also left me isolated and alone because I never learned through being independant to work well with others or even ask or try to, I just did it all myself.
In many ways this defect/strength/weakness has served me in both directions, positively and negatively. Now my opportunity is to see when and where this is a strength and when and where it is a defect.
In personal goals it seems to be a strength, in emotional situations it seems to be a defect as I have not been the one to reach out in the past when I needed to or just could have but didnt.
These days there are so many people willing to be there for me and asking me to be there for them that I never truly saw or even knew before. It is through others that I am experiencing the JOY of not being so D—independant and allowing others to walk with me and care about me and in turn being asked to be that on the other side! I have always had a hard time with JOY but now I feel like I have an abundance of it to share, give, throw around, emanate, exude etc! Life connected in an UpSpiral is by far the best way to experience it all!
Eternally Grateful for this educational enlightenment I am recieving!
CHIVALRY57 wrote on Thu Mar 4th, 11:16pm:
The last two sentences about our stregths WOW! me.
“Don’t remove them. See where they point you and learn to grow from them.”
This goes allow with when things or an event do not go as I planned or hoped for and as it trys to slash me through my weaknesses…I begin to focus and execute my strengths to look for the flip side of the coin…...the good that can come of the situation. Even though my business maybe a bit of a rollercoaster ride as of late, I turned it around and was looking for referrals for my colleagues. I attracted 5 in two days!!
Next time lets all go to our next meeting, business opportunity or our family/friend gathering keeping our strengths before us like a shield that shines, protects and reflects.
Much Gratitude to all of you!
CHIVALRY57
Patricia wrote on Sun Mar 7th, 3:38pm:
Character defects? I am so glad you put in the word weakness. I don’t think I thought of myself as having defects. A weakness or two yes, yet I had not thought of it as at the other end of the character strength stick. With my mind on positivity, I seem to think more and more I am a strong person. I am more accepting of my decisions and actions in this world. I find it interesting when I tell my friends about this work they are not interested in trying it, even though they see a change in me. A couple of them really fight for their depression, insisting this will not help them. Sometimes it is difficult to see friends suffer, knowing there is help, and knowing they simply are not ready yet to let go of pain.
Judy wrote on Mon Mar 8th, 2:11pm:
Opposites! Yes, I really got that everything has the other. I’m beginning to be able to stay out of the dark by “just not going there” when it rears it ugly head. In other words, going to something positive rather then getting mired.
I so relate to Dreaming Big. It’s wonderful to hear the shift that taking place with him/her. Something for me to aspire to. These blogs truly do make a difference. Again, thank you, Dr. Larkin, et al.
Linda wrote on Mon Mar 8th, 11:16pm:
Dr. Larkin, thank for continuing to provide new ways for me to view my life! Even what may have been seen as negatives (our weaknesses) now can be realized as positives when our eyes and minds are illuminated by the light we shine on those negatives.
Previously, my weaknesses hung around in a dead-end alley. My best hope was to just do my best to avoid them. However, I have actually stayed and let them entertain me in a variety of ways, over and over, very often leaving me sliding the DownSpiral. Now I realize that I can use those negatives for finding directions to my strengths. In that way, there is a door at the end of the alley which flips me over to the opposite side where I can locate everything I need to assist me in my UpSpiral ascent. This is a whole new game. I can release any guilt I feel about my weaknesses when I transform them into my signals, cues, actually gifts (gulp!) that can lead me (as I am willing to let them) directly to my strengths. It reminds me of a pastime I enjoyed so many years ago – connecting the dots to reveal special pictures. I am so happy to know this is mine to do now in a new way. I look forward to creating better and better images the Upspiral.
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