The SuperHighways Of Happiness

By Dr. William K. Larkin on June 30, 2009

Strengths are also called virtues and values because of their fundamental importance. They are your ways of "being" who you really are. These superhighways of neuropathways are unique to you and they are the only ones that you can travel and be who you really are. Your values, as your strengths, are who you are. Get off the highway and some voice within you-the voice of all your feelings-will start to give you messages that you need to change your direction, make a turn, take the next exit and go back, just as surely as the GPS system for a car won't give up until you're on the right track.

The greater your alignment, your consistency and your focus are on your strengths, the more in alignment with your Real Self you are going to feel. You will feel more in sync, more in control, more in harmony, more like you are "in your own skin." It is when we play to our weaknesses that we begin to feel "out of sync," disconnected, out of alignment, anxious, frustrated, and in a state of discord.

The more you use your strengths, that are also your basic values and virtues, the happier you will be.

Read the "StrengthSmart" chapter in Growing the Positive Mind.

The Acid Test of Your Vision

By Dr. William K. Larkin on June 23, 2009

This is the acid test of a vision. Does it give you a sense of significance? And more than driven- is it inspired?

Every single person has a "sense of significance." It is a sort of "this is my place in the universe" and it's about contributing that sense of who you are to something greater that what you are. The research in happiness shows that the happiest people are those who use their strengths in three ways:

1. To live in an UpSpiral
2. Daily play to their strengths as an expression of who they are
3. Contribute and use their strengths for something greater than themselves.

What are you giving "you" to that is greater than you?

I have one place where I have learned to practice my overall vision in a very, very small way. My vision is to increase joy and happiness in the world by increasing people's UpSpiral Living. My reminder is that every time I buy anything over the counter, I want to see if I can make the person waiting on me feel a little "better," a little "brighter" than they did. I have found that a smile works first, followed by a friendly "how are you today?" If they have a name tag, I get the name from the tag and use it in the question. When I leave I say, "Have a great day, Cindy", and I smile and mean it.

I used to believe that the salesperson was there to serve me and make me feel better and if they were grumpy, I just got grumpier. I noticed how they weren't service oriented and how poorly trained and supervised they were. I'd get silent and just finish the transaction and make no attempt to be pleasant and then just leave, a little more "soured" with the world than when I went it. Then some crazy driver would do something stupid and I could honk. Then there was the long red light to complain about. On the way home the driver ahead of me was going too slow in the fast lane and I got up right behind him to let him know that we was slowing me down from getting home and putting my groceries away. Wasn't that something to be in a real hurry about?

Now whenever I leave a store there are two people who are happier--the clerk and me! And on the way home I notice how beautiful the mountains are and feel how grateful I am for such a blessed and abundant life. It really is that simple.

Does your vision give you a sense of being and place in the universe that is meaningful? It is this sense that WHO you are is significant and meaningful in the total picture that is important. Doing something may be one of the ways to express that. You may not have an airtight purpose to accomplish something absolutely specific. For example, you can paint paintings for no purpose at all, absolutely for no other reason than the joy of doing it. You can pot flowers solely for the sake of potting flowers and enjoying them and be living fully within the realm of your vision.

Feeling Good

By Dr. William K. Larkin on June 15, 2009

Developing physical muscle at a gym involves gaining a greater degree of conscious control over the physical body. The Emotional Gym gives a greater degree of conscious control over your emotions, your emotional state, your moods, and your state of mind. State of Mind Management (SOMM) is what the Emotional Gym is really all about. Remember: you have the power to exert conscious control over your emotions, including the means you employ to gain that control

This week, when your brain wanders here and there, wander it down a more positive path of positive emotions. Say each of the following words 50 times and match them with a little of the emotion. Say "thank-you" 50x, say "gratitude" 50x, say "peace" 50x, say "love" 50x, say "joy" 50x, and then another time during the day do it again. Match the words with a little of the feeling and you will find that the very Center of you will answer back with more of the same state of mind. Do it before you get out of bed and do it before going to sleep. Let go and lose count. Do it when you walk, do it when you hike or bike or exercise. Do it when you're doing nothing. Do it while you drive. Just do it.

You want most deeply, more than anything else, to "feel good." It's a decision, it's a choice, it can happen today and it can happen without anything in your life changing except you. Then, if you feel good, just watch what goodness comes into your world!

But, But, It Isn’t Fixed!

By Dr. William K. Larkin on June 8, 2009

Many people live their lives with the idea that if this or that were fixed, then they would be happy or satisfied. That's just backwards. If you can't be happy today, whatever you need fixed tomorrow isn't going to make you happy for any longer a time than it takes you to forget what it was that was so important to your happiness!

I have a client who gets very, very worried about this or that from week to week. We do the work and use his strengths and by the next week, I am anxiously waiting to see how things have worked out for him. He will go an entire session and never mention what was so important and so much in his way the preceding week. He has moved on to another thing that must happen in order for him to feel happy.

Find the ways that you can be happy today, in the day, in the now. Let go and enjoy what you have. Then whatever you want will find its way to you, but not before you have learned to live in happiness and joy TODAY. If you cannot be happy today, or move strongly in the direction of being so, you will never be happy tomorrow.

“My Strengths in Costumes”

By Dr. William K. Larkin on June 1, 2009

I am using, for the first time, someone else's writing as the blog post for this week, because it reflects such outstanding insight into strengths and their opposites- what we call our weaknesses. Tanya has her finger on the pulse of this step of growth. Our character defects are merely the reflections of our strengths- they cause the feelings and thoughts that feel "bad" and attempt to send us toward our strengths. This is an outstanding entry on the blog and I am grateful to Tanya for posting it. I am so proud to share this entry from one of our outstanding Certified VisioNavigator Coaches. Thank you, Tanya!

Tanya Burak wrote on Sun May 31st, 7:45 pm:

What a thrill to "finally get" after a zillion years of sideline living ... that my weaknesses are not something to be beaten out of myself or hide in shame!

That delightfully to the contrary they are the "friendly committee" that starts chattering or moaning if I am going in the wrong direction (down).

Their job is and has always been simply that but no one ever told me. So through my lens of shame of "never enough" all I heard was that they too thought little of me.

So this committee, my strengths in costumes, had to scare me back on track if that is what it took. They knew the bottom had a limit... and that they could help me start going back up when I finally understood. Boy, are they patient!

They would take my dislike and abuse because they had "certitude" regarding their mission. They were pretty worn out and were very relieved to have ANI explain ... like a neutral third party intervention.

I now can hear that I was uniquely and purposefully designed exactly the way Spirit wanted me. So now when I hear them whispering or shouting, I don't get afraid. I know it is their "loving warning" that I am ignoring one of or all of my unique pieces.

They still stand fast until I turn myself around and get headed the right direction. It's tough love but someone has to do it.

Thank you committee ... also for reminding me I don't have to look for anyone else's strengths to fix me ... that it doesn't work and is not supposed to!

"Reflecting Spirit"