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How Negative You Can Be…
By Dr. William K. Larkin on January 11, 2010
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is the opposite indication of how positive you can be. Consider how quickly you can have a little bit of a negative emotion and how fast you can get there. In an instant, someone can say one little thing, do one thing and zing, you are easily, on our scale of 1-10, at a "3" or "4" or more on negative scale. Then consider how long you think about that negative thing, how much play you give it, how much time you give it, running it over and over in your head, nursing that negative emotion, maybe even being obsessed with it. We can make a negative emotion last for a long time. Then consider how you can begin to think of other times like this one and get angrier or sadder and more upset. You can intensify any negative feeling with great ease.
To the degree that you can do that with the negative is also the capacity that you have to do it with the positive. Everything you can do
with a negative emotion - feel it instantly, give it duration over time, and intensify that negative emotion, is everything that you can do with a positive emotion. All you have to do is practice positive emotions as much as you have practiced negative emotions. It takes some time, it takes some practice, but you can stay in an UpSpiral of positive emotion to the degree that you have decided to be there and to the degree that you have decided that it is important to your life and your health, your well-being, and your life-satisfaction.
Most of the things we get negative about we can't change. In fact, most of us keep busy trying to push 
hard against "what is." What we are negative about usually just isn't our business. The things that bother us the most usually change, over time, without our doing a great deal about them. The only reality that you can change most rapidly is YOU and your response to negative events. Use every negative event as a cue to practice the Emotional Gym. Feel a little bit of love, peace, gratitude and joy every time there is something that is trying to convince you to get "your nose out of joint." Put your nose back and plug the frontal lobes of your brain into place. These are the lobes that help you make the choice about which emotions you want to live.
The emotions you live make you who you are. What is your choice today and this week?
33 Comments
Kathy W wrote on Mon Jan 11th, 4:42pm:
Yes, I am doing much more Exclaiming theses days than Complaining thanks to the knowledge and work with the UpSpiral.
My Exclaiming is being done daily throughout the days with the Emotional Gym bar bells, Love, Joy, Peace (and my favorite) Gratitude. I would say that I have gone from pressing at 3lbs to now 10lbs. And I am feeling stronger and healthier everyday.
My brain is so very powerful, filled with my wisdom and now I am able to use my selective ability to pick positive over negative. It is no longer a challenge it is a privilege.
Even my eating habits are changing from Fast food to good foods like veggie snacks and fruit. If I visit the fast food arena I select the healthiest items (and there are some) on the menu verses the fat filled, huge size and beyond.
My Complaining is still very much a part of me but shows up for shorter lengths of time.
Complaints and negative feelings don’t get me anywhere. They do not support my growth.
One last thought:
I believe that The Applied Neuroscience Institute should be taught in grade school so that we could nurture our young. Have them touch the part of their brains that they remember is filled with love, joy, peace and gratitude. Give them hope and inspiration now, and in doing so make them happier adults in later life.
Erik wrote on Tue Jan 12th, 12:17am:
I had a nice experience tonight with changing the negative to positive. I had a long, challenging day, and was feeling moody just before bed. So I sat for a few minutes and pulsed joy, increasing the intensity each time I pulsed it. Pretty soon I had a big smile on my face and I felt great.
It reminded me of a client I worked with today. We were focusing on increasing his left frontal lobe brain activity via EEG biofeedback (neurofeedback). Scores of research studies show that increasing blood flow to the left frontal lobe leads to increases in positive mood. As this man’s frontal asymmetry became stronger on the left, he broke into a big smile.
I love discovering, and using effective approaches to increasing positive mood,thoughts, and feelings.
Donna Lang wrote on Tue Jan 12th, 9:21am:
Erik: I like it when you say you “love discovering and using effective approaches that increase positive moods and feelings.” Your words speak to me so powerfully and simply. Thank you.
Kathy W: I enjoyed your words of excitement and appreciation about the emotional gym.“My Exclaiming is being done daily throughout the days with the Emotional Gym bar bells, Love, Joy, Peace (and my favorite) Gratitude. I would say that I have gone from pressing at 3lbs to now 10lbs. And I am feeling stronger and healthier everyday.”
Kathy W: like you I wonder about starting kids thinking about UpSpiral living early on in school. How important.
Up Up and Away…
Donna Lang
Donna Lang wrote on Tue Jan 12th, 9:38am:
I remember when I was 5 years old, some kids were calling me names that related to my religion…
I reported this to Mom saying that it did not feel very good and I was clearly upset.
My Mom replied saying, “Sticks and Stones can break your bones, but WORDS will never hurt you.”
I appreciate Mom’s wisdom today, but as a child I still felt hurt since the idea of CHOICE did not occur to me until later in life.
Today, at the cross roads of my upset(s) I can DECIDE to go straight to the Emotional Gym or just fo straight to Pulsing Gratitude, Gratitude, Gratitude…
at a red light, while brushing my teeth, while sitting elegantly on the throne.. :)
ANYWHERE- ANYTIME
Thanks Mom. I have taken your WISDOM and added CHOICE to it and I am very grateful.
Donna Lang
BarbaraLily wrote on Tue Jan 12th, 1:30pm:
One of the “cues” for positivity I’m using is when I get to a Stop sign or signal, I remember the line from that old song, “Stop, in the name of love!” I don’t go on to the second line (negative and blaming), but enjoy the first line. Also, I’m no so frustrated at traffic. All is good.
Mark E. Anderson wrote on Tue Jan 12th, 3:05pm:
I had a negative communication the other day. My first inclination was to push it away and move towards the next postive thought. But upon further consideration I let the offending party know I was not pleased. Afterwards I milked this negative communication/situation to find out what I could learn from it. 24 hours later I have learned something new and let go of the negativity.
Lea Jacobs wrote on Tue Jan 12th, 5:57pm:
I am reminded from this article what I read in Byron Katie’s work about the three kinds of business - my business, your business and God’s business. She says that I have no business being in any other business other than my own - not only is it not mine; I simply cannot effect change anywhere else but within my own body, mind and being.
I am so encouraged by the knowledge that to the extent that I am able to have and hold my negative emotions - I’m so good at it, by the way - is the extent that I can have and hold my positive emotions right now. My sense of it is that the UpSpiral overtime of practice in real life situations, may actually break through the roof of any limits placed upon it - that this actually has an infinite quality to it - I look forward to finding out. . . let’s all play together in infinity - won’t you come along with me?
Love and blessings to all,
Lea
sherri wrote on Tue Jan 12th, 7:30pm:
Wow! What timing. This is probably the single most consumption of my time and energy. The focus on what I did wrong or the phrase “Why didn’t I do….” or ” If I only….” It rules my dreams, sleep or lack of, focus and happiness scale. I am so grateful everyday for the growth in me and the clarity that this network of people and information is providing for me so I may keep taking more steps to a more peaceful, relaxed, joy filled and grateful life. The one word I still have so much problem with, of the four, is Love. I am sure in the archives of Dr. Larkins’ Blogs will be some clarity that will ring true.
I am having my son take the VIA Authentic Happiness Test for children and would love to pass this and the Upspiral to children.
I Just finished it also for me. Great insight!
With Gratitude,
Sherri
diane kershenbaum wrote on Tue Jan 12th, 9:20pm:
A day at work filled with others negativity has satiated my being. In just beginning to participate in a UPSPIRALLIFE group, I realize I have a long way to go to learn to get to the emotional gym in time to save myself from spiraling down. For a lifetime, I have let others reactions set the course of mine, feeling as if I were not the one responsible for where my emotional life landed. I never thought I considered myself a victim. Who am I kidding?
suzanne wrote on Thu Jan 14th, 6:02pm:
“...it takes some practice…” Ah yes, just like learning to play and master a musical instrument; if you don’t practice you will sound out of tune, off key, and not so pleasant! How easy it WAS to complain and be grumpy and not want to practice. But I did, and eventually I sounded pretty good.
Now I use negative events as a cue to practice the positive and I know it will make my music/life sound awesome.
I’m choosing a glorious song of joy today!
~thank you~
Judy wrote on Thu Jan 14th, 8:31pm:
Today I really “got” how insignificant the past is and how utterly ridiculous it is to dwell on it. That serves nothing and noone. Now what to do with all that new found thought time! Guess I’ll have to employ my “Gym” more often.
This morning I heard an oldie but goodie, “If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with”. That would be ME! So that’s what I’ll be working on. Its very interesting that I am hearing things I’ve heard many times before except that now, thanks to the positivity process, I’m hearing them in a different way. So, I guess “that’s not all there is”. It’s been a rough day and thank goodness, it’s now in the past. Peace, love, joy and eternally, thank you.
Janet wrote on Fri Jan 15th, 7:35pm:
My Upspiral score is higher today than last night. And this excerpt from Dr. Larkin’s post is so true and something I’ve been tackling for awhile: The only reality that you can change most rapidly is YOU and your response to negative events.
What became very clear to me is that I do have a choice. For decades, my mind has – almost on autopilot – veered to the negative. But if I step back and pay attention, I can choose to look and reframe a situation in a positive light. I’m still having a tough time with authentically feeling gratitude and love right now, but pulsing peace and hope seems to be helping a lot.
Dr. William Kent Larkin wrote on Fri Jan 15th, 9:59pm:
I love Judy’s comment about the words from the song, “love the one you’re with”. Everyone and everything we love on the outside throws a switch of love on the inside of us. Whatever we love on the outside is vehicle to find that same love for ourselves. Who you love “out there” is sent to you to be a mirror of the inward journey of loving youself.
Unpack your heart of the love you have for you; it is a very, very full suitcase.
That’s what grieving a loss is about; finding the love someone pulled out of us for them, realizing we can love and be loved like that, and then doing that very same thing for ourselves.
Everything and everyone we love mediates the possibility of the love we can have for ourselves. Want to stay very high in the UpSpiral? Love the one you’re with, and that is you.
You bloggers are great, I’d love to comment on every thing every one has written. I read the “whole” and follow the thread of unity that you all mirror. Thank-you for your input and thank-you for what you give the world by posting on the ANI blog.
Erik wrote on Sat Jan 16th, 10:05pm:
In the last two weeks I’ve gotten “religious” about setting my Upspiral goals each day. I’m often gratified by how good I feel, in spite of some extra stressors right now. I’ve also noticed that I’m usually getting the “wants” that I set. Two days ago, I wrote “something wonderful” for my want. I ended up meeting an incredible 90 year old woman who was as mentally sharp as most 30 year olds. What a wonderful gift.
richardsnewsong wrote on Sun Jan 17th, 2:18pm:
I am calm now! I am breathing. I am centered in the peace of being fully alive and conscious in this present moment. I have come to this wonderful watering hole on the ANI web site and want to soak my body, mind and spirit in the soothing balm of positive emotions and intentions. It is akin to a luxurious bubble bath in an over-sized garden tub, surrounded by scented candles that flicker in the warm air.
Today, I started my journey into consciousness early this morning in a wonderful UpSpiral. I heard the beautiful music of my mantra as it came alive in my waking mind:
“I’VE GOT A FEELING, THAT TODAY’S GOING TO BE A GOOD DAY!”
I am discovering the power of how my last thoughts in the evening set up the architecture of my sleep and ultimately, how I awake the next day! It is so blissful to awake with a symphony of positive intentions in my head! It really works!
I head immediately to my journal – “Plans to the Universe and the Answers Back” - and the affirmation I read speaks to me as if it knew exactly where I am coming from and what I have been through recently. It starts off:
“I AM STOPPING THE PUSH OF TRYING TO GET THOSE THAT DO NOT VIBRATE IN HARMONY WITH MY VIBRATION TO VIBRATE DIFFERENTLY”
Wow! Better late than never! Where was that wisdom yesterday when I needed it?
I have to confess – yesterday, woven into what was an otherwise beautiful day of hiking and good company with loving friends, I hit some potholes on the road of life.
Had I been able to access the wisdom of Dr. Larkin’s recent blog on the Positive Flush, I would have been reminded:
“SOMETIMES THE NEGATIVE JUST NEEDS TO BE FLUSHED AWAY.”
Now, in the quiet protection of my humble desert casita, I can put things in perspective. Right now, I am clearly in “Broaden and Build” – even more clearly, looking back, my wonderful reptilian brain, centered in the amygdala, got the better of me yesterday in the moment.
Dr. Larkin’s words in this week’s blog – drives the point home:
“CONSIDER HOW QUICKLY YOU CAN HAVE A LITTLE BIT OF A NEGATIVE EMOTION AND HOW FAST YOU CAN GET THERE.”
How quickly indeed! I can laugh about it now! When my ex-wife called me yesterday, I found myself going as I like to characterize it, from Zero to “Merde” in about 2.5 seconds! (I hope I can say that here!!!???) She unloaded on me – she was definitely not vibrating in harmony with my vibration - and I realize, hard as it is to believe, I did not respond as I would have liked. Oh drat!
That was then and this is now! Since then, I have gently, lovingly and consistently leaned into the positive - leaned away from fear and into love. I have leaned away from “Fight or Flight” and towards the “Broaden and Build” of my emotions where my strengths manifest their magnificence! Like a mechanic adjusting the air/fuel mixture of an automobile during a tune up, I adjust back into the optimum 5:1 ratio of positive emotions where my VibeCore hums and purrs like a beautiful, classic Jaguar with a well maintained V-12 engine.
Realistically, I am still capable of jumping into “Fight or Flight” mode with little or no warning – but after all is said and done, I remain a beloved Child of God - a spiritual being going through my very human experience and even my mistakes teach me valuable lessons regarding what I DO NOT want to manifest in my life going forward.
Today, I enjoyed a beautiful morning at our local Center for Spiritual Living and it helps to purify my vibrations – what beautiful energy I am surrounded with! In particular, I am blessed with a powerful short (under 4 minutes) film that I pay forward to everyone here that you may enjoy through this link:
http://www.wisdomfilms.com/
The theme of the film: “Your life matters! You are powerful beyond measure!”
Back on point - back to blogging on “How Negative Can you Be,” and I must say that I am very impressed with how I have rebounded from my brush with negativity yesterday. As the blog points out, I could stay in the negative and in the past, I did for days, weeks, months, years. Not any more!
This week’s blog reminds me:
“All you have to do is PRACTICE POSITIVE EMOTIONS as much as you have practiced negative emotions. It takes some time, it takes some practice, but you can STAY IN AN UPSPIRAL OF POSITIVE EMOTION to the degree that you have decided to be there and TO THE DEGREE THAT YOU HAVE DECIDED THAT IT IS IMPORTANT TO YOUR LIFE AND YOUR HEALTH, YOUR WELL-BEING, AND YOUR LIFE-SATISFACTION.
It is important to me…very important. I HAVE DECIDED and each day, the power of my positive intentions grows!
AND SO IT IS!
CHIVALRY57 wrote on Sun Jan 17th, 4:43pm:
Kathy W. I agree with you totally about teaching this way of thinking to our young, it will be so very important to their future thrive. As Upsprial members (leaders)we do have a resposibility to share this with as many people as possible that are willing to listen. I am tested daily to keep in the Upspirial…but with so many tools at my disposal that ANI has offered me, it has become easier to either stay and remain high longer or at least bounce back much more quickly…Yea! The support and follow ups which lead to my personal accountability that I get from my group is the best!!
““Lets learn to praise the things that give “you” pain, because the will awaken “you” sooner than the things that give “you” comfort and convenience.”“
—Swami Amar Jyoti
CHIVALRY57
BarbaraLily wrote on Sun Jan 17th, 9:14pm:
I had a rough time last week and found myself very “down” and having some seriously negative emotions about things I’d spent the last two years supposedly getting over.
And worse, I felt guilty and a failure for not being “up.” But I practiced the emotional gym and remembered that it’s not a contest and there will be some difficult times. And life is good!
Carol wrote on Mon Jan 18th, 2:24pm:
Jan 18th
I am beginning to suspect that Dr. Larkin was listening in when my mother said “It isn’t what happens to you, it’s your reaction to it” Thankfully this is a lesson I adapted early and practice often in life. Also, I seem to find it easy to love and feel gratitude. Sometimes not so easy to feel loved. My epiphany this morning is that if I switch up the emo-gym just slightly, and pulse “I am loved” it is very beneficial to me.
Saturday was a very hard day for me. I had been working on my final divorce papers, after a 4 year separation. While I am now very glad to be apart from him, it brought back the feelings of abandonment and betrayal…..and of not being loved. I allowed myself a day of self pity and hibernation.
I refer to Marks comment about “I milked the negative…….to find out what I can learn from it” I think it is important to honor our negative feelings because they are there for a purpose, and THEN kick them to the CURB!!!
Dr Larkin’s “That’s what grieving a loss is about; finding the love someone pulled out of us for them, realizing we can love and be loved like that, and then doing that very same thing for ourselves.” pretty much describes what I experienced .
Sunday morning I went to church, still feeling haggard from my bout with pain. The lesson was beautiful, as usual, but then I received the frosting on the cake…….several of my friends, some from this Upspiral Group expressed love and caring to me. It was such a blessing. Thank you all so very much. I cannot say how much you helped me. Leading to aforesaid epiphany.
Thank you.
Victoria Koutavas wrote on Mon Jan 18th, 7:14pm:
Richard, I LOVE that song-I’ve got a feeling…that today’s going to be a good day! I was actually watching Oprah the first day of this season where the Black Eyed Peas sang that song and I SO wanted to be one of the dancers in the audience! Thank goodness music like this can pull me out of a negative place really quickly. Thank you for sharing the link to watch it again!
Over the weekend, I decided to devote several hours to writing my desires on post-it-notes. I arranged my supplies at the table, got something to drink and chose some good music for ambience. I took a risk by including a Celine Dion CD that I used to play over and over during a time when I was grieving a breakup. I’m still not sure if it was a good idea. I was able to listen with a healed heart and enjoy her music but it did bring back memories of a time I never wish to repeat. Those memories continued into my dreams that night and fortunately I did not wake up in the down spiral.
I can appreciate what Dr. Larkin says about how fast we can grow our emotions either way. In the past those same memories would have catapulted me into a funk for days…I am so grateful to say-not anymore!
Linda wrote on Mon Jan 18th, 11:19pm:
In the last number of years, we have become a nation much more aware of the need for conservation. That includes everything from rainforests far from us to the recycling of the daily newspaper at our front door. With the help of Dr. Larkin and others, we are learning about a very intimate conservation – the use of our own personal energy.
As Dr. Larkin points out, it is amazing how easy it is to use our energy on the negative. We have had lots of practice. The picture at the beginning of the blog could be an image of the “playground” I’ve allowed myself to be in lately. I have to remember to not become a resident there. I have been spending a great deal of time worrying about one scenario, only to have another pop up for which I expend even more energy. The first one sort of fades or resolves and I’m left wondering why I spent so much time there. Yet, I keep reacting as though a new situation really does warrant the way I’m choosing to spend my energy. This informs me very personally about the nature of worry and clearly shows me I need to relocate!
It is comforting to be reminded it does take the same amount of energy to be positive as it does to be negative. However, moving from the negative conserves more energy to use on the positive. The payoff is much bigger also – well-being and creativity to more easily move through life and its challenges.
Right now I am working to convert the energy of worry into the ABC’s (Awareness for a Better/higher Consciousness). For me that means shifting from “automatic” reaction into “manual” and practicing all of the techniques we are learning so that they become the ambient and automatic. With the latest thing to pop up for me, I am very aware I am having some success in not going gong ho into the negative. For that am very grateful.
Rick wrote on Tue Jan 19th, 6:12am:
It has been a week of learning about taking a negative cue and shifting to a more positive attitude by pulsing with joy. It’s amazing how well it works. The negative story comes to an end. When I go with the negative cue it usually turns into a negative story. Pulsing with joy not only brings the story to an end but also creates an atmosphere of good feeling and my day becomes bright again. Along with the better feelings there are better thoughts and it all starts to build for a better tomorrow. It is not always easy but it is definitely doable and it only gets easier the more I do it.
Mack wrote on Tue Jan 19th, 8:18am:
Well for the most part I think we mingle with someone or a group of someones that introduce us to the negative things of life. A comment, a picture an email a text and what I have found is that all they are doing is sharing the negative experience. I have found myself not even responding to these waste of energy messages. Most people dont have a clue have the pot of negativity keeps getting stirred. They pass it along and they add a little of their negative favor to it. Asking what do you think? No response for now seems to be the best response. I notice when you respond to those crazy ideas and gossip people include you in the loop but without responsing I have noticed these invitations falling by the roadside. Being negative is as easy as counting 123 or ABC we learn it before we even learn our names. In this work here at ANI it seems as if I have this detector going and as soon as someone starts the negative talking or acting in a way that changes the vibration I know thats my cue to exit.
Mack wrote on Tue Jan 19th, 8:52am:
I like to thank Diane for mentioning the workplace rollercoaster. Those rides are free all day. Lets start with the Boss upset with his wife and he comes in in a funk. Then theoffice Manager she hates monday so she is mad as double hockey sticks and here comes the service technician and he is mad that his football team didnt win this weekend and the downspiral continues. Now here walk in the the other employees and all day long their seems to be this negative vibration. These people are operating in the negative zone. Negativity is just like other emotions we feed on them. I noticed this many years ago and it scared me. I noticed how when the Owner was nice most of the employee would be nice but when the Owner was in rare form the employees were in rare form. The workplace is were you really have to be careful as to which emotions that we are feeding off.
victoria koutavas wrote on Tue Jan 19th, 12:40pm:
Staying positive can be challenging sometimes. I am grateful for what I have learned and what I am learning here at ANI because I have more tools than ever before to weigh in on the upside.
Today is just one of those days, it’s rainy outside, I’ve got another cold, all I want to do is stay under the covers until I feel better and the sun is shining inside and out again. I am on the teeter totter of judgment about getting sick again and what that “means”?
Isn’t this work in positivity supposed to boost my immune system? Have I not been positive enough to ward off these germs and not have a sinus infection be my dominant vibration? Or are my cells going through some sort of detoxification process? Is past negativity coming to the surface to be released? If “how I relate to the issue is the issue” then who cares why? I’m just going to nurture myself the best way I know how, do some extra pulsing in the emotional gym and believe that this too shall pass…Yes, I know, take two mantras and call me in the morning…
richardsnewsong wrote on Tue Jan 19th, 3:57pm:
Fellow Master Minds!
There is so much to like about your shares this week! I am dining on a gourmet buffet of positive emotions!
Like Kathy W:
“My brain is so very powerful, filled with my wisdom and now I am able to use my selective ability to pick positive over negative. It is no longer a challenge it is a privilege.”
Thank you for reminding me of the incredible power of our brains, always at our disposal - it is a wonderful privilege!
BarbaraLily: Simple! Brilliant! Profound!
“STOP IN THE NAME OF LOVE!”
In essence, you have taken a negative cue - the frustration of having to stop at a traffic light or stop sign - and turned it into a positive cue for pulsing positive emotions! That is exactly what Dr. Larkin suggests to us as a “Cued Emotion” on page 54 of GTPM!
Thanks for reminding me of a powerful way to enhance my UpSpiral during the daily routine of driving!
Mark Anderson: Thank you!
I feel like we are very much in sync and you explained it so well. I milked my experience of negativity and let go of it soon after that – how sweet it is! Had I held on any longer, the milk of negativity would have soured and curdled - yuck!
Lea Jacobs: Any time somebody references Byron Katie, I stop and listen as she has so much to teach me!
I am guessing that even if you don’t break through the roof, you will most certainly raise the roof as your UpSpiral expands towards infinity. Thanks for the invite to play with you in infinity – I would love to!
Mary Garvey: Thanks for being a living example of the promised land we all journey towards. In particular, I like it when you said:
“I put my trust in him and guess what, it is now happening. When we consistently use our tools, the lean does eventually change one’s mindset and inner chemistry.”
Looking forward to our group tonight – it is going to be so fun!
Judy and Dr Bill: I really resonate with your combined insight on “Love the One You’re With.” In particular:
“Whatever we love on the outside is vehicle to find that same love for ourselves. Who you love “out there” is sent to you to be a mirror of the inward journey of loving yourself. Unpack your heart of the love you have for you; it is a very, very full suitcase. That’s what grieving a loss is about; finding the love someone pulled out of us for them, realizing we can love and be loved like that, and then doing that very same thing for ourselves. Everything and everyone we love mediates the possibility of the love we can have for ourselves. Want to stay very high in the UpSpiral? Love the one you’re with, and that is you.”
Wow, wow, wow! That is totally it! I am going to keep doing my loving affirmations in the mirror and continue practicing random acts of kindness to others, including “Loving What Is” (per Byron Katie!) in the world around me, knowing it is a reflection of my love on the inside!
I would go on and on and on. Our community here is really putting out some very good vibrations. Time fails me and I have homework to do before class tonight!
Have a Happy!
Richard Rotbart
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