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I Used To Think That A Bad Day Was Just Normal
By Dr. William K. Larkin on January 4, 2010
I also 
used to think that there could be a stretch of bad days that would come to an end and then I'd have a stretch of good ones. I thought the "blues" were just a normal part of life and that the melancholy of those days made me more sensitive and creative. The truth is that they just made me a "downer" to be around and gave me an excuse for not knowing that I could grow a positive mind and become a positive person. In short, I didn't know that I could grow my consciousness.
Then I decided to give up studying illness and getting over my negative core beliefs and started to research the relationship to consciousness, positivity and growing a positive mind, the higher states of wellness, and to increased levels of consciousness.
In 2009, I 
had maybe one or two half-bad days and they weren't even half-bad, because I knew how to get into an UpSpiral of consciousness and positivity. You can live a life with fewer down days, and eventually with none at all. That journey has emerged into the new 12 Step Group for everyone-the ANI UpSpiraLife Group. Click on the "UpSpiraLife" Tab on our website and learn more!
29 Comments
Donna Lang wrote on Mon Jan 4th, 7:54pm:
Thank you Dr. Larkin for showing that you are truly walking your talk, as a decorated solder standing for Peace, Love, Joy, Gratitude and Hope etc…. It is so inspiring.
As I considered what you stated early in your blog, “I thought the “blues” were just a normal part of life”...I could not help but ask…
Is being Normal…...........Optimal?
It’s normal for 1 out of 3 people in our country to be overweight…......... But is it Optimal?
It’s normal for 1 out of 2 marriages to fail…
But is it Optimal?
When all the lemmings run run run, only to find themselves falling off a cliff, well I guess that’s normal….... But is it optimal?
As your Blog continues, you say “In 2009 I had maybe one or two half-bad days and they weren’t even half-bad, because I knew How to get into an UpSpiral of consciousness and positivity. You can live a life with fewer down days, and eventually with none at all.”
Yes that sounds Optimal to me and I vote for Optimal.
I envision that one day Optimal may be the New Normal.
Up Up and Away….
Donna Lang
Melody wrote on Tue Jan 5th, 3:14pm:
It really struck me, Dr. Larkin when you said: “Then I decided to give up studying illness and getting over my negative core beliefs and started to research the relationship to consciousness, positivity and growing a positive mind, the higher states of wellness, and to increased levels of consciousness.”
Over time I’ve noticed the “coincidence” that people who study diseases often get those diseases. I began to wonder if this is a manifestation of the law of attraction. A couple of years ago that observation led me to study happiness – if I’m going to “get something” I’ll take happiness.
I’ve been working with the Upspiral for about 3 months now and of course I’m talking with friends about all the good work we’re doing. Today two people commented on how I seem to be in a much better place than I was last fall. And just to add a little more sweetness, I got my first two coaching clients today. I’ve been coaching public speaking for many years but haven’t had the “courage” add individual coaching to my formal menu of business offerings. For years I’ve been turning away clients who asked me to coach them. Well no more! Let’s have some fun playing in the Upspiral.
dawn wrote on Tue Jan 5th, 6:14pm:
Ten years ago, when I went through a divorce, I met a spiritual teacher who gave me the word contrast to use instead of depression. It was a new perspective. Prior to that time, I’d always had, what I’d called, bouts of depression. Once I gave the old feelings a new name, I was never depressed again. I just experienced the contrasts of life, and I knew like the tides of the ocean, they would come and go. Nothing was permanent, and it enabled me to relax.
Now I see contrasts as an oportunity to realign to the truth of who I am, to realign to source energy. I like the Abraham teachings that say that our feelings are just indicators of where we’re at. Once we notice where we are we can choose where we want to be.
Here’s to the remembrance that we are divine, and that WE DO CREATE OUR OWN LIVES.
Blessings!
suzanne wrote on Wed Jan 6th, 10:34am:
I am grateful today for being reminded that I CAN grow my consciousness to reflect a higher state of being.
That I can pulse positive emotions and chip away the layers of negativity, no matter how large or small.
I am happy to reveal my golden self within - hidden under the clay of doubt, fear, insecurity.
Thank you for reminding me to live my life in the UpSpiral.
I love you. I respect you. I thank you.
Patricia wrote on Thu Jan 7th, 6:01pm:
When I read your comment about giving up studying illness it immediately struck me how important it is for me to give up thinking about the pain people are in who come to me. If my focus is on pain, and I am touching them, with our energies mixing, how can they release the pain? I can easily go into a treatment thinking gratitude, peace, love, and joy. I can easily go into a treatment with the intention of releasing tension and allowing healing with ease. The concept of people working together in harmony, expecting acceptance, peace and joy, is a concept I hold close to my heart. This UpSpiral group is a great tool to keep me leaning in the direction of this concept. Reading the blogs and hearing people talk in group reminds me people are leaning towards acceptance, peace, joy and love. We are all on such an awesome and powerful path.
david brooks wrote on Fri Jan 8th, 5:57pm:
Well, I thought so too! I thought that it was just part of the human condition to have so many bad days. The process of the day was certainly something that happened to me and my response to those events was the effect, not the affect. Right?
Eventually, my spiritual path led me to Dr. Larkin’s work. I discovered that there was a cause and effect relationship between what happened to me and my emotions, but that it was not solely the relationship that I had always thought and been taught. I learned that not only can the events change my mood, but the change in my mood can alter the events or at least the perception of them. In addition, my mood can be managed; I learned tools and processes that help me to get to or stay in a more positive frame of mind; I learned that when I use these tools, better things seem to happen to me and I am happier.
In only a few short months of practice, I have been able to change my complete perspective. I have proven to myself that having a good day is up to me. Now, instead of it being a normal thing that I just accept, having a bad day is unusual - it is a strange occurrence! And better yet, instead of having to wait it out, I now have tools to turn the day, all the days, around to the positive.
BarbaraLily wrote on Sat Jan 9th, 2:29pm:
Many of my spiritual studies are “converging” at this time. Two important principles from them are that what appears to be problems or hurts are really gifts and that I can choose to be happy. These are very difficult to believe unless one has tools to work them. I’m surprised at times at just how much resistance I feel to working the UpSpriral and then I just accept it and work it. I don’t stay in the question of why, I just do it.
I am very reassured by David’s statement of “only a few short months of practice.” It’s a new skill, and like all skills, it takes practice. So, gratitude, love, peace, and joy to all. It’s a good day!
Victoria Koutavas wrote on Sun Jan 10th, 8:56pm:
There are some days, I swear, the universe just wants to see how well I can stay in the Upsprial. I’ve had one day off for each of the last two weeks, so getting everything done has been a challenge. This morning I decided to get out of bed and before any of my writing or medication, get a couple of loads of laundry going before work. Many of my neighbors also do laundry on Sunday so I knew I had better get moving.
Rushing to get out the door with the laundry basket, one of the plastic balls containing the fabric softener fell out and as I leaned over to pick it up, I managed to dump most of the concentrated liquid soap on the carpet right inside my front door. “OH SH@*!” In disbelief I grabbed a towel from the basket and began frantically blotting up as much of the soap as possible. All the while thinking-I don’t need this to be happening right now!
In the past, this would have ruined hours of my day. I would have plummeted into a down spiral and stayed there for who knows how long. But today, I caught myself-almost immediately-and remembered I have a choice. Ruminating about the way it all happened and why, it suddenly became quite humorous-especially when I decided I was channeling Pre-prince Cinderella!
Later when writing in Paths to the Universe, I wrote about how grateful I am that it was soap and not cranberry juice, grateful that it was not my last cup- full of soap, grateful that I have clothes to wash and, no matter what, the sun is shining and it’s in the 70’s. (smile)
So YES Dr. Larkin it’s happening more often and faster!Thank you!
david brooks wrote on Mon Jan 11th, 5:15am:
You go Victoria! Throw some positives at all that stuff. It is good to hear such an encouraging story of change like that! Many days where wasted by staying in a bad space for hours or days, clueless that I had the power to change it. Congratulations on moving on-ward and up"spiral"ward.
Melody wrote on Mon Jan 11th, 6:43am:
Victoria, Isn’t it interesting that it was soap that spilled - just when you are trying to wash out negativity! How about singing “I’m gonna wash that negativity right out of my rug!”
Congrats on taking the high road!
Judy wrote on Mon Jan 11th, 2:33pm:
I’m usually a pretty positive and upbeat person, but last year I went through a period of quite a few “bad days” because of a relationship. One of my friends introduced me to her UpSpiral group, something with which I was not familiar. I was able to attend only a few meetings, but the seeds were planted. Now that I’m beginning a new group with Dr. Larkin and beginning to practice the Emotional Gym, I’m feeling a sense of more control and seeing that relationship as a catalyst for positive change. I’m just beginning the UpSpiral process, and it is encouraging to note comments like “a few short months of practice” can change one’s perspective.
Victoria, loved your story! Good job!
Janet wrote on Mon Jan 11th, 3:33pm:
Gratitude, peace, love, joy, hope. I’m taking time each morning when I wake up and during the day when I remember to repeat these words. I’m not feeling the heart connection when I do it, but I’m not berating myself for not feeling it right now and that’s a good thing.
Kathy wrote on Mon Jan 11th, 4:10pm:
It is truely a miracle that the UpSpiral is working for me and in such a short period of time. I was absolutely one of those who felt down was just part of life. If you didn’t have down how could you have up. It was “just life”. Also “down” had a very profound effect on me, sometimes days at a time. I hated it but it was “just life”. How could you really enjoy the up if you didn’t experience the down. Since I started with this group I have had 2 down experiences. The first one lasted days but the second one lasted hours. Dr Larkin helped me out of both with an explanation I could understand. I like that we can pick one of the four words to pulse when faced with adversity, the one that fits best. Just like Victoria chose gratitude. My first down experience I chose all four words because I couldn’t find a reason for being down. The second time I chose peace. Fasinating process. I love it!!!!!
Donna Lang wrote on Mon Jan 11th, 6:16pm:
When I broke off a relationship a number of years ago.
My head said that this was the right thing to do.
Yet my heart cried over this decision for over 2 years. That’s right: 2 years of sadness, second guessing and allot of missing.
Looking back on my 2 “bad years” I can see how helpful it would have been if there was an “UpSpiral Group” around.
Or if “Growing The Positive Mind” had been available, I am confident that my 2 year journey would have been a very different experience.
Dr Larkin’s work has been so important to me.
Today, I now know that what ever comes my way, I will have greater resliency capacity due to “psychological capital” that I continue to grow each and evey day.
With Thanks,
Donna Lang
Victoria Koutavas wrote on Mon Jan 11th, 8:53pm:
Oh Oh Donna!
I so totally relate to your blog about past relationships! Forgiveness is the order of the day. Self-forgiveness-meaning, if we knew better we would have done better. If I had a dollar for every minute I spent ruminating about the how and why of past romantic relationships I’d be worth millions! The best part of going to and staying in the Upspiral is: Girlfriend-those days are gone! The emotional bank account (buffer) that we are creating daily, I believe, will re-direct any and all thoughts that venture to travel down those roads. Here’s to freedom of thought!
Rick wrote on Tue Jan 12th, 6:03am:
I am always at choice. At any given moment I can up spiral or down spiral. The wonderful thing about Growing the Positive Mind is the consistent practice of leaning my consciousness in the positive direction. To actually practice good feelings. When I look back and think of the many years of training I had to feel negative, depressed, and play victim, it helps me to realize the importance of practicing all the wonderful lessons from Dr. Larkin. It’s not always easy for me to practice in any endeavor, but it sure makes a difference when it matters most. Then after time I suddenly realize that I have become someone else, someone who is really good at what I’ve practiced. I want to be someone who is consistently in the upspiral and having a wonderful life. Practice, practice,practice and then…...
Linda wrote on Tue Jan 12th, 8:51am:
I love the fact that we have the wonderful ability to decide what is going to be ‘normal’ for us. We can even choose how we want to label that kind of day in a way that will personally resonate. It’s all about creating something that is ‘tailor made’ to our own specifications. We can do that through our intentions. Ascending the UpSpiral provides us with a variety of fabrics, threads and colors from which to work.
Learning from Dr. Larkin has greatly increased my awareness and acceptance levels. I was amazed to have experienced one ‘;’day recently in which I felt everything just fell into place and progressed so smoothly. It’s hard to express. It was not necessarily that big things worked. It was more that I felt at peace with the flow of the everyday, routine activities. I wasn’t rushing, nor did I feel behind schedule. At the day’s end I realized, ‘this could be my normal, my extraordinary, all the time.’ It was a very powerful sense. My awareness of it screams, “I want it back!” My acceptance in making it my own whispers, ‘keep pulsing, keep creating my day, smile!” I am so thankful for these techniques.
You are all my teachers as well. Victoria, thank you for sharing your story. I can certainly recall days like that. I really enjoyed hearing how you used gratitude geared toward the existing circumstances to turn things around. David, I liked your term, ‘throwing positives’ at it. I get an image of the negatives being extinguished and then I realized how often I have automatically done the opposite by ‘fanning the flames’ so to speak with more negatives. Your two blogs will serve as a reminder to keep my awareness heightened so that less and less frequently I accept emotions and actions for myself that do not contribute to my well-being and the kind of days I want consistently.
Donna Lang wrote on Tue Jan 12th, 9:04am:
Yes, Victoria There is a Santa Claus!
By that I mean, Yes Victoria there is Hope, Love, Joy, Peace and Gratitude!
Thanks Victoria for your wonderful heartfelt wordsmithing: “Forgiveness is the order of the day. Self-forgiveness-meaning, if we knew better we would have done better”
And Now I know better!
Thanks Dr. Larkin and ALL of Y’all’s entries that share the spirit and richness of living in the UpSpiral.
Up Up and Away….....
Donna Lang
richardsnewsong wrote on Tue Jan 12th, 11:52am:
Thank you Dr. Larkin - short and sweet and to the point!
I hesitate to bore myself or anyone else with all the “stuff” I used to think was “normal” and since thoughts are energy and become manifest, over the years, I found that most of my thoughts were being validated in my experience - perfect examples of “self fulfilling prophecy” at work.
Enter my experiences here as part of ANI Master Mind and I can truthfully say: There is a new sheriff in town!
When I am on my game and firing on all cylinders, one of many things that I start my day with is a journal entry in “Plans to the Universe and the Answers Back.”
I have been using a mantra to express my new normal and it goes like this:
“I’VE GOT A FEELING - THAT TODAY’S GOING TO BE A GOOD DAY!”
Like any good mantra - it ALWAYS goes better to music! How wonderful that the Black Eye Peas already got this and gave voice to it. And so, I want to share with you a Black Eyed Peas video version of this wonderful expectation courtesy of Oprah - get your dancing shoes on!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMy0ehXMscs
I did my journal entry Sunday morning and commented:
“Today I will focus on JOY in alignment with my strength of POSITIVITY.”
The universe had a wonderful surprise for me that day. I attended the Center for Spiritual Living that morning and much to my delight, there was an announcement for a yoga class entitled, “Joy for No Reason!” to be held Sunday afternoon.
Did I go? You betcha! Did I have a good day?
IT WAS A VERY GOOD DAY!
By reading Dr. Larkin’s entry, I am impressed and challenged to not have bad days any more. I must say, I cannot remember any really bad days in recent history. Some bad moments? Yes! Bad days? Not really!
One of many things that I am grateful for is my ability to go into my Emotional Gym in those bad moments and voila, things do seem to turn around!
Thank you Dr. Larkin for helping to burst my bubble of negative expectations around normal and showing me that yes, it is as easy as I make it!
My new normal?
TODAY IS GOING TO BE A GOOD DAY!!!
And the Universe says,
“SO BE IT!”
Have a Happy!
Richard Rotbart
richardsnewsong wrote on Tue Jan 12th, 12:35pm:
Donna: Thanks for your vote!
Optimal IS the new Normal! You are living proof of that - thank you for being such a positive role model on how it is done!
While we are voting, can I place my vote for:
“50’s are the new 40’s!”
I am voting early and often on that one!
“AND SO IT IS!”
Melody: Thanks for another relevant share to our topic! Good choice!
I’LL TAKE HAPPINESS! MAKE IT A DOUBLE!!
I for one am not surprised at all, that you have your first individual coaching clients. Congratulations! Thanks for sharing that very good news!
David: You really nailed it when you shared:
“I have proven to myself that having a good day is up to me.”
With apologies to the Rolling Stones:
Under my thumb - The thoughts that once had me down.
Under my thumb - The thoughts that once pushed me around.
It’s down to me!
The difference in the thoughts I think - Down to me,
the change has come, It’s under my thumb.
I am sure that is EXACTLY what the Rolling Stones meant - don’t ya know!
Strictly optional - blast from the past music video for those that enjoy that sorta thing!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DI6WA-2CgyE
You can take credit for this inspiration or not David - regardless - thanks for your share!
Victoria: You are always so upbeat on line and even more charming in person - thanks for the coffee yesterday!
You definitely turned it around girlfriend! Bet that is the last time you decide to do laundry BEFORE your writing and medication! (or did you mean meditation!!!)
I love the way you are keeping it real and being such a good sport - you are such an inspiration to us all!
Patricia: You really put the icing on the cake for me in your share. Thanks for saying it best of all:
“Reading the blogs and hearing people talk in group reminds me people are leaning towards acceptance, peace, joy and love. We are all on such an awesome and powerful path.”
Have a Happy!
Richard Rotbart
Victoria Koutavas wrote on Tue Jan 12th, 1:13pm:
I laughed out loud when I reviewed my blog regarding the laundry soap scenario…I did mean to say MEDITATION not medication! Actually meditation IS my medication…Yes, Richard, I meant to say the former!
Wouldn’t that be great…take two mantras and call me in the morning! Hummmmm…maybe on to something here!
It’s wonderful to be attracting more and more like-minded people into my life.
Richard-yes, coffee with you yesterday was all that you said and more-right back at you-and a great way to start a 11 hour day!
Donna and Melody, our Girls Brunch Out this morning was a real joy and I am so blessed to have you both in my life.
To my Upspiral Life Group on Tuesday nights…I miss you and send you much love and appreciation.
Thank you all for helping me anchor being in the Upspiral!
richardsnewsong wrote on Tue Jan 12th, 2:06pm:
Dr. Victoria is in the house!
Yes! Absolutely! I will take your advice!
TAKE TWO MANTRAS AND CALL ME IN THE MORNING!
That is perfect - you are definitely on to something (but of course, you knew that!) and thanks for clarifying that you are NOT “on something”! (but I knew that!)
Laughter is good medicine! Your “take two mantras” approach has me grinning from ear to ear!
Have a Happy!
Richard
Carol wrote on Tue Jan 12th, 3:03pm:
As this week progresses I find it easier to flex my positivity. When stress or pain tries to invade my presence, I can now ‘chant’ the words and invoke the accompanying emotions more readily. Even if I cannot yet, eliminate the stress completely, I am at least now able to avoid the self-recrimination of allowing stress in the first place. (ah yes, what a creative mind I have.. Stress induced stress LOL) Reducing the second layer of stress allows me to find solutions more efficiently.
Now….on to using that creative mind in much grander ways!!!
Judith wrote on Tue Jan 12th, 4:22pm:
I have very few “bad days” but many bad moments in good days. Now that I’m in the new Upspiral group I’ve been practicing gratitude, joy, love,peace whenever I get on a negative point and it really helps me turn my attitude around. Thank you so much Dr. Larkin.
Mack wrote on Tue Jan 12th, 4:36pm:
Tell the world that a new way of feeling has arrived and it can be bottled and sold. Most people would love to feel the Peace,Love,Joy,Grattitude and Hope that the group is talking about. The one thing that stops most people is that soundtrack playing it will never work. Now this group is like the 12 people whom Jesus touched. The first to experience a new awaking. For to keep feeling the old beat up and torn down will always keep anyone in a downspiral. Afraid to reach out and try something new and just able to wake the next day and repeat the same old process. It never surprises me when I hear people say oh it the same as yesterday. No two days are ever the same when you have learned to bounce back and keep going. Focus on the day that you choose to have and watch the magic unfold.
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