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Negative Hits Are Stronger Than…
By Dr. William K. Larkin on January 18, 2010
...positive ones. But-- and this is a big "but"-- negative feelings have less impact and you feel them for a shorter period of time when you have a reservoir of positive feelings. Negative hits do just that; they "hit" in a way that kind of knocks the emotional air out of us. They are quick or they are sudden and then they grow. They are the bullies in your emotional playground. Dependent upon the degree of the threat which the negative represents, the hit varies, but negative emotion is stronger in its immediacy than is positive feeling. However, here is the good news! Positive feeling is non-linear. This means that the more your reservoir of emotion is filled with the positive, the more it will appear, especially when you need it.
If you will make positive feelings a low-grade, chronic, ambient background, a sound track of your life, it will take over the negative more quickly and the 
negative will last less and less time. Think of those times when a negative thought, feeling or reaction was something hung around all day long until you slept it off. The antidote to the toxin of negative feeling and thoughts that are unwanted, and the "hit" that seem to give us out of nowhere at time, is to practice positive feelings. Rehearse them, live in them, say them, think them, journal about them. Make a list everyday of what you're grateful for. And this is not a big load of positivity I'm asking for. I'm not asking you to be so cheery and bubbly and always so perky that someone would like to stick a cork in your mouth.
On a scale of 1-10, join me this week and feel love, peace, gratitude, joy, and hope, or any one of those feelings, at a "2" or a "3" or a "4." Just a little, just enough to keep your real smile going. This is really what you are doing. You are tipping an inner scale, something like an inner teeter-totter, and instead of going up and down, you are moving 
the fulcrum of the teeter totter so that the emotions with the most weight are positive.
There is NOTHING in your life that doing this won't affect. When you get to a positive place, you are much more capable of figuring out what the negative feelings are about and what do with them. You never solve the negatives from a negative place.
So practice and create the positive reservoir that describes where you live inside, because that reservoir, either positive or negative, creates who you are.
31 Comments
Kathy W wrote on Mon Jan 18th, 3:43pm:
I can see that I am able to be on the positive side more in my daily activities than ever before.
The idea that I could or would actually find the dogs barking next door a positive experience is a ‘miracle’. This Saturday I was able to use my shift of feelings towards the barking. I found myself smiling and sending them big hunks of love. And you know what they actually did not bark as long or as loud as in the past ……there’s something happenin’ here, and I am lovin’ it.
Also since I have been practicing my emotional gym daily, morning, afternoon and night I am finding that I am serving my TEA (time, energy, attention) on the positive side of life. And it is tasting might good.
The negative sad feelings are still are with me. However they don’t seem to be all consuming. I am not jumping from one negative thought to another. I am not making it my life’s study anymore. I recognize the feeling and start chanting gratitude or one of the other wonderful words and move on.
I love all the messages I read throughout the day. Your thoughts and words have brought tears to my eyes, laugher to my heart and ah ha’s of encouragement. Each one of you is a treasure and I am so blessed to be on this quest with you. Thanks for being out there experiencing life at its best.
Carol wrote on Tue Jan 19th, 10:46am:
I can recognize negativity very easily most of the time, but it is trickier when it is disguised. Like my happy friend who smilingly complains about her spouse, or the random conversation where someone resignedly discusses the government or society’s wrongs. These comments might have their place or may be used constructively, but when they go on and on it can wear into my heart without my even realizing it. I am trying to be more aware of those times, and use positivity then. Perhaps to the speaker, but usually just to myself.
This definitely sets the ambient tone for my life. Thanks for the tools to ward off the ‘quick hits’ and also the covert.
Melody wrote on Tue Jan 19th, 4:45pm:
This message about negative emotions prompted me to do some quick internet research. My hypothesis was that I’d find considerably more info on negative than positive emotions. I googled negative emotions and it took me less than 30 seconds to get a list of about 100 negative emotions. So of course, i was compelled to challenge the positive emotions to catch up. I’m glad to say that in just a couple of seconds I found over 300 positive emotions! OK, maybe they won’t all stand up as “emotions” but they are positive “ways of being”.
Wow, without trying I got a 3:1 ratio.
Donna Lang wrote on Tue Jan 19th, 5:53pm:
Good Morning Vietnam!!
Do You remember Robin Williams in that movie?
He played a radio guy who offered a smile in his voice with his “Good Morning Vietnam” Upspiral! Despite the war, and all the related parts that could easily push anyone into an DownSpiral.. there was Robin Williams..doing the reverse. He found a way to be up in a down situation.
When Dr. Larkin said, “Negative hits do just that; they “hit” in a way that kind of knocks the emotional air out of us. They are quick or they are sudden and then they grow. They are the bullies in your emotional playground.”....“However, here is the good news! Positive feeling is non-linear. This means that the more your reservoir of emotion is filled with the positive, the more it will appear, especially when you need it.”
I will piggy back off of Dr. Larkin’s comments above because I suspect that Robin William’s character in this movie illustrated that his reservoir of emotion was filled with the positive and it definitely appeared when it was needed!
Donna Lang
sherri wrote on Tue Jan 19th, 6:17pm:
Cheers to the decreased power negative emotions have on me!
I have them, of course I do, although they seem to be more and more on the surface then so deep inside me for the majority of the time. During the times that it is deeper I do not feel so helpless. Having my arsenal of helpers have proved to be empowering. I do go through the ups and downs and can get tired of my emotional inconsistencies of myself right now. So… during those times that I get the Hits of negativity is when I must chose to be gentle with myself and my growth, remembering that smaller steps will form the longevity to the positive consistency I desire.
And so it is!
Sherri
Mark E. Anderson wrote on Tue Jan 19th, 6:55pm:
I have found that building my positive reservoir has had side effects. I’m not only looking for the positive, I’m asking for it. I’m expecting it. Last week I received a catalog of upcoming productions at the local theater. I zeroed in on a performance by Momix Dance Troupe. I wanted to see them, but tickets were not in this month’s budget. I silently put it out the intention that I wanted to see them. Last night Ken called to say he had 2 extra tickets to Momix (comp), and would we like to go!!! Absolutely! I believe! We went and had an incredible time!
Lea Jacobs wrote on Tue Jan 19th, 7:03pm:
I have a magic forgetter - my mind sometimes just lets go of things that are not useful in the moment. Until I started to do this work with Dr. Larkin, my mind would sometimes just forget to remind me to do the things that are good, better and best for me. I would discover myself days later wondering why I was in a “funk” and only then remembering how I had forgotten to do those valuable things to keep my mind clean and clear of debilitating thoughts and emotions. Now I simply don’t forget - what a fabulous gift I have given myself in this work!!!
I may still experience some resistance to doing the best for myself, to shake it off and get on the UpSpiral quickly to offset or minimize the effects of negative emotion - this is for me the greatest reason for building daily the reservoir of positive emotions in consistent practice. So, let’s make this year the best of times by remembering what is most important - up, up and away. . .
gate, gate, para gate, para sam gate, bodhi svahi. . .
we all deserve endless good; we need only ask for it!
You are what I asked for - thank you.
Lea
Judy wrote on Wed Jan 20th, 4:13pm:
So, addicted to negative emotions? I was definitely taken aback by that realization. Yes, definitely an addiction which my ego is defending with a vengence. It’s easy to forget to do the Emotional Gym. That gets my back up, being sloth & then realizing I’m downspiraling, subtly, oh so subtly. “You never solve negatives from a negative place.” I so get that, now. If I am to be addicted, it might as well be to positivity. For today, I’m back on track. It is interesting, however, that having been distracted from the process a day (or part of a day), today I seem to be stronger in the experience of the concept. Thank you, Dr. Larkin, for delving into this curious animal, homo sapiens.
richardsnewsong wrote on Wed Jan 20th, 9:17pm:
I just spent a glorious day at the Swami Surfing Beach in Encinitas, California! You see, while the bulk of Californians are focused on the negativity of recent storms, a small clan of avid surfers are jumping for joy at the massive surf that storms cause, creating some of the best surfing of the Winter 2010 season.
It is classic turnaround that would make Byron Katie smile, hopefully from ear to ear?
Storm, bad?
No! Not at all!!!
Storm good!
In the same way, Dr. Larkin’s simple but effective approach to developing the positive mind demonstrates that I can enjoy a life well lived if I so choose with instructions like:
“Make a list everyday of what you’re grateful for.”
I like that! Even I can do that! And I am seeing proof over time that it really works!
Dr. Larkin goes on in this vein:
“I’m not asking you to be so cheery and bubbly and always so perky that someone would like to stick a cork in your mouth.”
Phew! So glad he clarified! That could have been a deal breaker, giving my negative resistance a toehold in the battle to reshape the neural pathways of my brain!
Gratitude is something that comes naturally to me - perhaps a reflection of my strength of Positivity! I find myself reflecting on gratitude at the end of my day and also, first thing in the morning.
I am very, very thankful for my brain’s plasticity!
I send out the pulses via the things I am thankful for: Gratitude. Gratitude. Gratitude.
Once again, I am challenged to go the extra mile - to “make a list”. I sense instinctively that there is a special power in committing my grateful thoughts on paper to a written list. I believe that it’s the same reason, we are taught to trace the letter “C” in our palms, to reinforce our Certitude.
And so, the next time I am shopping - a gratitude journal will be a nice addition to my Binford 6100 Positivity Tool Box!
Double bonus!
By pulsing positive emotions, I win (at least) two ways! One: My reservoir of positive emotions are the “in the moment” antidote to negative feelings when they crop up! Two: Staying in a positive place keeps me in “Broaden and Build” mode, meaning I can process those stray negative feelings when and if they come out of nowhere.
I reflect on one last thought from Dr. Larkin’s blog:
“So practice and create the positive reservoir that describes where you live inside, because that reservoir, either positive or negative, creates who you are.”
I am reminded that indeed, “I am what I think.” Having a reservoir of positive emotions will “potentiate” my natural strengths which leads to a strong VibeCore of flow that attracts good things into my life.
It is a wonderful ambient sound track of my life!
Margot wrote on Wed Jan 20th, 9:55pm:
Well, my reservoir of positivity seemed like it had dried up for a while, and negativity was creeping in, but then I rededicated myself to pulsing love, gratitude, joy and peace, and am THRILLED to find it filling back up with positivity - almost as fast as the rain is filling up my fountain! I also have gone back to filling out my plans to the Universe each day, and find that it sort of “turns the tap on” adding more positivity back into the reservoir, and helps keep me mindful of looking at the events of the day from a positive perspective. And I also have to say that I have become addicted to my Upspiral groups - I am SO grateful for the love, gratitude, peace and joy that springs from them and energizes me. All of these things are helping me break the habit of negativity, and I just have to remember what Dr. Larkin says: all it takes is practice, practice, practice. Thanks!
Mountain Chat wrote on Thu Jan 21st, 1:11pm:
Yippee! This is happening more often, more easily, and more sweetly. Resilience is the word we used last evening. Every day, in every way, I’m getting happier and happier.
Judith wrote on Thu Jan 21st, 2:25pm:
This week has been a challenge emotionally. After the start of a bad day my friend and business partner gave me a pep talk about changing my feelings of irritation and finding fault to bring me out of my “funk” and to find something to be grateful for from the irritations. Thank you for the friendship, support and love – gratitude for having you in my life, joy of being able to share the ups and downs, the spirit of love and inner peace. Thank you also for introducing me to Upspiral and the personal growth that I’m gaining from it. Thank you for helping me turn the feelings and grow from the experience.
Judith
Suzanne wrote on Thu Jan 21st, 6:30pm:
Ah, the big storm is here! “oh, isn’t it awful”, everyone in the grocery line says. I just smile to myself and reflect on the beauty and power of the rain and the wind. Mother nature in all her glory. I flex my top strength of Appreciation of beauty - and see the bigger picture.
Since I have been pulsing the emotional gym, the positive is closer than my next breath - the negative mind a distant memory.
Positive feeling IS non linear, thank you for that reminder Dr. Larkin.
Today, I am able to have inner peace with the swirling storm around me.
kathy wrote on Fri Jan 22nd, 2:21pm:
I have had a very peacefull and mellow week. In fact yesterday my UpSpiral score was about 92, a first. It lasted all day and into the evening. I had two fitfull nights with interupted sleep and both nights I pulsed peace and was able to go back to sleep. Amazing. I am loving this.
Victoria Koutavas wrote on Sat Jan 23rd, 10:34pm:
Contrast is such an interesting concept to ponder. The record-breaking rain in the desert this week was a great big contrast to the weather we are spoiled with. Even though the overcast days are so few and far between I am affected by the lack of sunshine. I miss the sun and wait for its return. Driving to work on Thursday I decided to practice “just this” and think about all the reasons why rain is so good-we need it here because its so dry, the spring flowers will be absolutely spectacular, every thing gets a good wash down, etc. As I turned into the street leading to the entrance of Betty Ford I was presented with the biggest, brightest full arc rainbow I have ever seen! The Universe sent me a surprise that I was heard all right! I got out of the van and did a little dance in the parking lot-it was so cool!
Donna Lang wrote on Sat Jan 23rd, 10:37pm:
Things are a changing! I came to this conclusion when I took a look at the events of my day.
I was invited to see a perfomance of gifted high school students doing tap dancing,jazz and ballet.
Although I was going to hang out with a good friend who had 2 daughters in the same show, It was also 1 hour traveling time in the rain.
And it turns out, I stuffed 5 lbs. of a “To Do” list into a 1 lb. bag of time and I felt rushed. I was Frustrated because I was not able to get my tasks done before it was time to leave And my vanity monster tripped me up because I realized that I could not get my outfit ready in time for this event, either.
Blah Blah Blah Blah Story, Story, Story…..
I started to notice that this was NOT a kodak moment and this Negative Hit was escorting me Down the Spiral Staircase, FAST. This was my GPS System reminding me that something was OFF. SO, I MADE A CHOICE at this fork in the road and immediately went to the emotional gym, did the Certitude exercise and then the hands prayer.
BINGO!! THERE WAS SHIFT.
With an increased UpSpiral Score I put on my old standby jeans and a comfy top…and left for the event. period.
AND I Had A BLAST! It was so enJOYable.
I noticed that the HIT of the negative can go on and on and on “IF I LET IT”. And the Duration of the positive can on with greater intensity “IF I CHOOSE IT.”
Lea Jacobs wrote on Sat Jan 23rd, 10:55pm:
What it comes down to for me is paying attention to how things are ALL THE TIME - in awareness, there is choice and in my right mind, I will always choose to be happy, healthy, joyous, free, completely alive, and positive in my thinking. Why then, would I, as I do sometimes, resist doing this priceless work that keeps me in my right mind?!!!
I am so happy to hear that negative thinking is addictive - it helps me to understand why I would choose it, like going to the frig in the middle of the night to eat something that will interrupt my precious sleep, when it like the food is clearly not the best thing for me. When I ‘shake it off’ or turn it over, what I am really doing is allowing faith to kick in and carry me over to the positive - winning the ‘plasticity war.’ My right mind is gentle and easy, malleable, infinitely flexible.
When I slip into the groove of negative thought or self-talk, it’s like putting on an old wornout pair of shoes that for a moment may feel comfortable in the familiarity, but then shortly chafe or bind, limiting my life stride. I’d love to say I’m completely ready to throw out all of my old shoe thoughts and feelings - what’s happening for me is that more and more I put them in a closed closet that I only open when I want to! Choice equates to freedom. I can’t ask for anything better.
Love to my growing positive family,
Lea Jacobs
david brooks wrote on Sun Jan 24th, 6:25pm:
It is so great knowing that there is always something we can do…I was with a friend today that had been in bed depressed for several days last week, without my knowing it. What a relief not to have been there for such a long time! I used to go there, but once I really caught on that there was a cause and effect relationship between the amount of good coming from good thoughts and emotions and negative coming from negative thoughts and emotions, I gave it up! Well, maybe not completely, but I am in the process of building a positive reserve and it is getting pretty good. I couldn’t afford the other way - negativity sucks! :-)
New favorite Pollyanna thing to do is making lists of “What I like about that is…” It’s kind of “raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens…” but hey it makes me feel good. I also use it to reinforce the good - like a great afternoon with a friend, but there is one little comment or something I just cant get out of my head…“what I liked about that was…” helps me focus on the good. Feeling good is good!
david brooks wrote on Sun Jan 24th, 6:56pm:
Donna, I loved your story about deciding to change. Especially when you said, “I started to notice that this was NOT a kodak moment and this Negative Hit was escorting me Down the Spiral Staircase, FAST. This was my GPS System reminding me that something was OFF. SO, I MADE A CHOICE at this fork in the road and immediately went to the emotional gym, did the Certitude exercise and then the hands prayer.”
Some days, it takes some effort…some days, the tools aren’t as quick to work…but some days, more days, I am also choosing to see things from a place of positivity. How good is that?
richardsnewsong wrote on Sun Jan 24th, 8:01pm:
Greetings to my fellow Patriots of Positivity!
What a beautiful, sunny weekend it has been - just what the Doctor order to help dry everything out.
To ward off the chill this evening, I warm myself with the positive glow off thoughts and feelings shared here by others.
Kathy W - I love the visual of “sending out big hunks of love” and I am sure the dogs are wolfing it down like big hunks of steak! And the fact that the dogs are responding? That is so cool!
And serving your TEA (time, energy, attention) on the positive side of life? That must taste mighty sweet!!!
Mary Garvey - Your “attitude of gratitude” was in evidence as we gathered in your home last Tuesday evening. Thank you for demonstrating how to “walk the walk” by staying in your UpSpiral as you shared with our group!
Mark Anderson - Thanks for reminding us that as we put our intentions out to the universe, the universe has a wonderful way of answering back! This inspires me to stay consistent in my journal entries in Plans to the Universe.
Margot - It is good news to hear about your positivity overflowing like the water in your fountain! I have appreciated getting to know you in the UpSpiral group - a welcome addition my tool box of positive emotions.
Suzanne - I love your characterization of the recent weather: “the beauty and power of the rain and the wind. Mother nature in all her glory.” Thanks for sharing the bigger picture!
Victoria - Just like you to be dancing in the parking lot! Was it a Greek jig? You are truly a rainbow warrior of positivity - no wonder the universe sent you a lovely rainbow!
Donna - Your shares are always a Kodak moment for me, as your gift of lovely word pictures are always colorful Kodachrome photos with pithy perspectives on positivity.
David - I loved your take on the Pollyanna place of positivity! I really like the way you are staying focused on “what I like” and continuing in the “process of building a positive reserve.”
Simple but true - Negativity Sucks! Positivity Rocks!
Have a Happy!
Richard Rotbart
Patricia Morgan wrote on Sun Jan 24th, 11:55pm:
It is SOOO much easier being positive with a positive person around. My nephew will be here for 2-3 months and he is a delight. Did this happen because my energy was turning around with the UpSpiral? I like to think better ways of life are coming to me because my energy is changing. That thought is worth a huge THANK YOU!
Jack wrote on Mon Jan 25th, 9:53am:
Jack N - I was working on the idea of linking positivity pulsing to everyday activities. Peace when I sat down to play the piano, gratitude when I exercised, joy when I brushed my teeth, etc. That was OK and a start. Then it hit me, the time to practice the emotional gym is when a negative thought or event hits. I am a doc and tell this same reasoning to my patients. The time to correct your posture is whenever you feel any physical discomfort. Make it a Pavlovian knee-jerk reaction. For me, the same thing is true of pulsing positivity whenever I start to spiral down with negative thought. The underlying premise is that there is absolutely nothing that is more important than remaining in the Upspiral. All other things in life, all perceptions, and all eventual outcomes of hopes will be a direct result of the positive or negative energy within one’s psyche. I have literally thousands of people who respect me and are grateful to me for helping them. Yet I have spent much of my time in emotional pain and feeling deep loneliness. This may be good for writing songs but at some point becomes destructive both to the individual and quite possibly to the lives of others. As a westerner trained in empirical science, and as a spiritual seeker who has trouble with the Nicene Creed, I am not one to jump on the bandwagon with self-help trends. That said, I think these guys have really come up with a deceivingly simple and effective means of getting to the place that we are all happier and can each be a greater contributor to the good in the world around us
linda wrote on Mon Jan 25th, 12:36pm:
I should have been a Girl Scout because I love being prepared (for everything I can)! Iimagine we all have had things for which we prepare in one way or another. We have had practice at this!! Coming to mind lately is the simple act of preparing to stay dry when we leave the house.
I’m deeply grateful I now have an arsenal of tools on hand to insulate me from something much bigger and much more subtle -negativity. It is so true that ‘hits’ of negative pack a wallop. They can even render us temporarily ‘unconscious’ unless we have that reservoir of positive feelings. Negative ‘hailstones’ can be neutralized by the natural spring which arises from our reservoir. To get there from here takes practice. We already know the process of preparedness. We now have the awareness of that for which we want to prepare. The con is now on us. Tag, we are it! Now we know better, so we can do better in our own lives. It is up to us and we have support.
The sentence that literally popped out for me in Dr. Larkin’s blog is, “You never solve the negatives from a negative place.” For me this is a call to action! My chance to’get that merit badge’ - the merit being really saving my life to a degree – saving it to experience joy, love, peace, gratitude and hope. I am finding that using all my tools has the benefit of not only reducing the negatives and their impact, but also of allowing more positives in and experiencing them in a greater way so that their ‘hits’ are being recognized sooner and last longer. I became aware of that last week after a meeting of a job networking group I recently joined. In our ‘allowing,’ positives can become richer and deeper.
So – those times when I don’t want to ‘do the work’ become my noxious cues to REMEMBER the value of PREPAREDNESS. What a great motivator! Blessings to all.
judithb wrote on Mon Jan 25th, 5:10pm:
This is the first time I have written a comment on a blog. It feels very ackward I’m much more comfortable verbalizing my thoughts and feelings.
As I have gone through the positivity emotional gym exercises I have been pleased to find that I’m much farther along the path of proactive vs reactive when it comes to my emotions.
Right now the family is dealing with a potential serious illness for my daughter and I am very gratful that I have been able to prevent myself and her from sinking into catastrophe thinking and even to remain calm and finding some fun in the now.
I am looking forward to learning more about this process of focusing on positivity.
Victoria Koutavas wrote on Mon Jan 25th, 8:44pm:
Judith B-Welcome to the blog! It’s only been a couple of months of blogging for me too. I was sorry to read what your family is going through regarding your daughter. I have access to several prayer lists and-if you would like-would be happy to request your daughter’s name be added to the lists. I applaud you for staying in the moment, the calm and the joy.
Jack N-I really appreciate your share, especially your statement-“The underlying premise is that there is absolutely nothing that is more important than remaining in the Upspiral. All other things in life, all perceptions, and all eventual outcomes of hopes will be a direct result of the positive or negative energy within one’s psyche”. I agree wholeheartedly and put in a different way- I know my outer reality is a direct reflection of my inner reality.
Richard-“Fellow Patriots of Positivity” perfect imagery that got me visualizing claiming every day as Independence Day-the freedom to choose- with fireworks of Gratitude, Peace, Love, joy and hope, the light of positivity in glorious color, contrasting the dark sky!
Positivity…the natural high!
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