Comments
This Is Different From Anything You’ve Ever Done
By Dr. William K. Larkin on December 28, 2009
We work here on increasing well-being, raising your happiness set-point and increasing you emotional set-point. We work here on going from good to better and on to best. The focus is not on what is negative, wrong, non-resolved, or needing improvement. We don't talk here about the weakness you have to improve because we believe that you do it best by focusing on what is good about you. Our purpose is not problem-solving or learning to be positive in order to solve problems. It is finding and enjoying the goodness in life for its own sake each day. We teach people to live in an UpSpiral everyday; that is our aim. The world is full of therapists and counselors, problem-solvers, and healers of every kind. We are not healers, only in that healing is a by-product of the positive mind. What we need are places of positivity, where we become more positive, more optimistic and learn to view and savor life through the lens of what is good. Positive watering holes are hard to find. This is one of them.
We believe this so strongly that we claim that positivity is the core of ongoing, creative evolution. We believe that the power of positivity is e
normous and largely untapped, that worlds are created by it, and that our civilization is sustained because of it. Positivity is a power waiting for you to tap by changing your focus on life. The emerging sciences are telling us, over and over, through the hard research, that this is true.
The focus is on feeling more positive emotion, finding your strengths, increasing your positive vibration, and moving into the experience of "flow." We believe in the importance of setting goals that are malleable and finding your vision and your passion.
Our central aim is to increase your positivity, what we call your UpSpiral. The higher you go in your UpSpiral, the longer you learn to stay there, the better you will feel in every area of your life. Seeing as much of life as possible through a positive lens, in spite of the negative, is our goal. We spend way too much time, as does our culture, in looking at the negative. This is a place 
to engage the power of positivity. Its purpose is not to solve problems, but to see the world differently.
The truth is this. We have everything we need today and every day to be perfectly happy. When we learn to be happy and positive today, we increase the happiness that comes to us, maybe not instantaneously, but over time. As the positive reservoir builds, more and more of a satisfying life emerges. The secret is quite simply to learn to be happy and positive today, to see the best in the past, and to think about the good you want in the future rather than fear it. Today I have everything I need to be perfectly happy. The real determinant is my decision to be happy. Abraham Lincoln said it best: "A man is about as happy as he decides to be." We are here to help you sustain that decision.
32 Comments
sherri wrote on Mon Dec 28th, 12:25pm:
For most of my life I have concentrated on the things gone wrong and in doing so I have stayed in the same place (the past) dealing with the same challenges and disappointments. So I ask myself “How is that working for me? Well, it hasn’t and it’s time for my future. I really enjoyed the reading and the vision of a release of my past mind sets and conditioning for dealing with daily life. The part that rang true to me today is the “future fear factor”. So many times I do not commit to a move because of the fear of the success, it getting out of hand and not being able to control it.. or the embarrassment of failure and not being able to feel okay with that either. So I sit and exercise my excuses, which it draining. I am ready to take on the day or at least the next 5 minutes with a lighter load. Cheers
DreamerDeb wrote on Mon Dec 28th, 4:53pm:
What I love most about being in the UpSpiral is that I am living in the NOW. Even if I move off center - downward in positivity, I can fairly quickly return to a better state of feeling and thinking thanks to the many tools shared, practiced, and affirmed n our UpSpiral group. Thank you Mary and Ken for your supportive leadership. This is the moment that I am making and I rejoice in it.
Kathy W wrote on Mon Dec 28th, 10:15pm:
Dec 28, 2009
I have been keeping really busy thinking that if I did I would not have to feel the feelings I am experiencing. It is crazy to think like that, however I found myself in my own worst ‘down spiral’ trap. Self pity took over and there I was on this island of tears and suffering.
In my heart of hearts I knew what I was doing and I did it anyway. I felt I needed this side of me to rise up. It lasted about 20 minutes, tears, crying, feeling alone.
In this time frame I was also stroking my cat telling him that yes, we both are missing Norm. Oh, how we were missing him. Ming Lo’s purr became louder and louder. Then his face became really close to mine. I thought what a beautiful moment animal and human experiencing the same feelings…we were one. Then from nowhere Ming Lo bit my face. He has never done anything like that in the eight years of being with him. Well, let me tell you the negative feelings stopped instantly, no more tears, no more pity. It was as if he was telling me “Oh, enough already”. “You’ve been going on for some time now stop”.
Funny how the universe can warp you back to reality. I actually felt dazed as you would if you are going very fast and then stop suddenly. Believe it or not my next thought was of gratitude for my cat. Gratitude for the crying and the stopping and the moving out of negative back to positive.
I will remember that love bite.
Judy wrote on Tue Dec 29th, 10:58am:
Wow! So much is going on & the opportunities for work to stay in positivity are coming on fast & furious. Back to the Grinchisms…my sister-in-law had a major meltdown, which happens every year, but this year I was the target. Consequently, I was uninvited to her (underlined) house for the rest of eternity. My inner response was really interesting, even tho, my brother is my only living blood relative, with who we discussed my relocating to his area. (Somehow that was threatening to my s-i-l.) I felt a kind of release. A kind of letting go of old expectations. The rebound of “monkey mind” is rather repetitive, recognizing it for what it is & using the Emotional Gym to neutralize the chatter is helpful. I’m very happy to have these tools to help deal with my most undesciplined mind(just calling a spade a spade). I would be in a great deal of dodo without them. Today my mantra is, “I have everything I need to be perfectly happy!” Onward & upward living is only for the stalwart.
Mark E. Anderson wrote on Tue Dec 29th, 1:35pm:
A little bit of positivity, a little bit of faith. When I feel negativity approaching, I reach for a small decorative box on my desk. It contains a mustard seed. It was a gift from a spiritual teacher who reminded me that if you can faith (the opposite of fear and negativity) the size of a mustard seed, the kingdom will be yours! I immediately reach for a small positive thought and gradually lean in that direction until I once again find myself in the upspiral.
My UpSpiraLife Group is truly amazing. It never fails that my UpSpiral score increases at least 5 points prior to the meeting. Sure we all have challenges, but it is truly inspiring to watch the members of the group face these challenges head on using the buffer of positivity they have acquired over these past months and move on celebrating all the positive jewels they encounter on their journey in the UpSpiral.
I had the most amazing upspiral moment at the Christmas dinner table. After dinner a friend stood up and walked over to the man he had been dating for several months and said “...You make we weak. You make me strong. Will you spend the rest of your life with me?” The answer was yes as he slid the ring on his finger. The entire table was amazed and honored to have had the opportunity to witness this outpouring of love as tears of joy fell from every face. Wow, does it get any better than this? Merry Christmas everyone!
Fran wrote on Tue Dec 29th, 5:05pm:
Today is Tuesday—the day my UpSpiral Group meets. So, today I have EVERYTHING I need to be happy and positive. Sometimes Mondays are difficult—starting a new week, 6 days since the last UpSpiral group, clients, work, a sick dog, and on and on. But Tuesdays are great days—even the anticipation of meeting with the group and being able to share how my strengths stood me in good stead as I helped an elderly couple find accommodations when they were no longer able to live on their own. When road blocks were put in the way and I went on “positive autopilot” and refused to let their doctor’s office brush off the need to complete several forms to ensure they had a place to stay. I couldn’t see any reason why people wouldn’t be willing to help these people on Christmas Eve eve! Apparently that positivity came through in my voice over the phone as I made call after call!
I am grateful everyday for the UpSpiral group and our work—but most grateful on Tuesday!
dawn wrote on Tue Dec 29th, 5:30pm:
Today is a good day. I intentionally choose each day to have a great one. Writing my day out in the am as I want it to be has been a great way to set my intentions. Sometimes when the day gets away from the way I scripted it in the am, I catch myself and remind myself of the intentions I set. It’s a great way to reset.
Here’s to a glorious everyday!
BarbaraLily wrote on Tue Dec 29th, 5:55pm:
I am remembering to ask for what I want and need. I traveled to Portland, Oregon this holiday and asked for the travel experience (plane) to be smooth and not stressful. And it was!
Two of us were leaving early in the morning on the 28th and so I ended up at the airport very much earlier than I needed. But I noticed that my return flight was going to be late and that that probably meant I’d miss a connection. So I didn’t go into the “panic” or “upset” mode, I just went up to the counter to see if there was an earlier flight I could get on. There was, and both me and my luggage made it home together.
The holiday wasn’t as much fun as it’s been in the past, but I was with people who, despite sadness and sorrow, love each other and enjoy each others’ company. It is an easy going group that allows people to be themselves and so I simply enjoyed being with them without feeling we all had to be “doing” something or on the same emotional page.
I did get sick with a flu at the end, but have been more “up” than I’ve ever been before when I’ve not felt well. I feel blessed.
Donna Lang wrote on Tue Dec 29th, 7:42pm:
Thank you ALL. hm… I am thinking..maybe that’s where the “Y’ALL” expression started.
YOU Times MANY Equals “Y’ALL”!!
Either way I APPRECIATE YOU ALL (Y’ALL) very much!
Your comments, participation, energy and authenticity move me. This is the Blog that attracts a community of amazing men and women. AND this Blog is a magnet for positivity and possibility.
As Dr. Larkin stated, “What we need are places of positivity, where we become more positive, more optimistic and learn to view and savor life through the lens of what is good. Positive watering holes are hard to find.”
To your comment, Dr. Larkin, I say that I am so Thankful that there is an evolving community of UpSpiral participants. My Hope is that one day, positive watering holes will be a way of life. And the Mr. and Mrs. NEGA-TINI’S of the world, will be an exception.
For Today, I feel “WHOLE” joining Y’ALL at the Positive Watering “WHOLE”.
Donna Lang
Victoria Koutavas wrote on Tue Dec 29th, 11:41pm:
There are so many lines to comment on in Dr. Larkin’s fabulous article, but for tonight, I’ll respond to: “We believe in the importance of setting goals that are malleable and finding your vision and your passion.”
For as long as I can remember, at this time of year I would create a ritual of letting go of the things that no longer serve me and state intentions of what I want to bring forward. This year I have decided to focus all of my time and energy on what I want-and never before have I had so much to work with to assist me in getting it!
With certitude I know I am the conductor of my life. If my goals are the music, engaging my strengths as the instruments will help me play my songs! I can change the tempo and notes any time. What is even more fun is having an audience to share the music with. To quote a wise woman from the South, (thank you Donna!) Y’All are a blessing-holding the energy of positivity.
Happy New Year!
Victoria
Judyblue wrote on Wed Dec 30th, 4:44pm:
Once again, great Upspiral Tuesday. I actually broke my plateau score of 65 to reach 70 around 2AM last night. The information that emotional responses are “habit” did it for me. I knew that negative responses were habitual but never thought of them as learned habits that could therefore by unlearned. Thank you, thank you. And the beat goes on.
suzanne wrote on Fri Jan 1st, 3:26pm:
I appreciate this blog title “This is different…” In the first paragraph I was struck by the statement: “The world is full of therapists and counselors, problem-solvers, and healers of every kind.” Yes, this is true. It is also true that the world is full of miserable, unhappy people! I am clear that it is our individual responsibility to develop a positive mind in order for us to create a sweet life. I no longer look to outside sources to “fix” me.
Today, this new day of a new year, I am choosing to make the comittment to play in my positivity tool box more often, look forward to moving up in the UpSpiral and to be a joyful inspiration to others by my words and action.
to quote Abraham: “The better it gets, the better it gets.”
Linda wrote on Sun Jan 3rd, 8:11pm:
Dr. Larkin’s blog came at a perfect time (surprise! - they all do). My mom has been somewhat skeptical about out meetings. For the last two, I was visiting her in Santa Clara and we planned our evening activities around them. One time we madly rushed from seeing a movie (‘Peace, Peace, Peace‘ at each stoplight). I just made the start of the call on time. She didn’t understand why I didn’t want to miss anything or skip a class. I was able to read to her the blog which explains so simply what this is all about – nothing strange or mysterious. I hope it has put her mind at ease.
I know my mind finds much more ease as a result of being a part of this group. I love the simple tools: the Emotional Gym, the Hands Prayer, the Duchenne Smile, Create Your Day. They are available to use in a nanosecond (should we accept this mission to express more of our true, God-self). They are available everywhere we are. They are concrete steps to a better, happier, healthier life and that’s a fact!
My awareness level in regard to my feelings and well-being has gone way up. I am ‘parenting’ myself better. On a light note, the second time Mom and I were planning a movie before our Tuesday meeting, I made the decision to not see a movie late in the afternoon because I wanted to skip the stress of just making it back on time. On a bigger issue regarding finances and unemployment, my husband and I have both been feeling as though we are rushing headlong to the edge of a cliff as the days move along (yuck!). However, this morning a new image came to mind and that is that as we reach the edge, we are being supported and uplifted to soar. That’s much better. Now I’m leaning toward erasing the ‘cliff edge’ altogether. I really like knowing that getting from here to there can be done in steps that are achievable.
Dr. Larkin, thank you for sharing your Christmas and New Year’s Day gems. They were nice surprises and ‘gifts that keep giving.’ Happy New Years to all. Thank you for the inspiration you each provide. I look forward to continuing our journey together.
Donna Lang wrote on Sun Jan 3rd, 9:47pm:
Prior to building an Executive Coaching Practice, I worked in Corporate Sales. As I look back on my experience as a Sales Professional, I recall our National Sales Meetings and the annual theme that seemed to be repeated year after year.
“GET BACK TO THE BASICS”!
And this concept rang true, as I read Dr Larkins’ blog because it showed up as such a powerful reminder for me to “Get Back To The Basics” of growing the positive mind.
The timing of your blog, Dr. Larkin was “right on” since I noticed that I have been slightly off the positive mind track during the Holidays - and I have not been as consistent as I usually am.
Additionally some of my “less than appealing” reactions to a few situations today represented a great reminder that I needed to go straight to the Emotional Gym with consistency!
With Gratitude,
Donna Lang
Carol wrote on Mon Jan 4th, 9:58am:
Thanks for letting me join your group. I really enjoyed the call. Thank you Dr. Larkin for the ‘after-call’ also. You were helpful and compassionate.
I particularly like the knowledge that we should focus on our strengths instead of our weaknesses. As a chronic ‘self-helper’ I have forgotten to do that sometimes.
Thank you
Dr. Larkin wrote on Mon Jan 4th, 12:03pm:
What fantastic shares. There is something that I can take from each one and I could talk about each share. They are rich. You can’t read what all of you write and not be uplifted.
But I am going to pick a couple of things. Mary Garvey’s remembrances from the licensure class about when do we get to share positive things. How significant this is, to let each other talk about positive things. Follow a conversation that seems “normal” and see how much of it is negative, gossipy or judgemental. See how long someone listen to you when you talk about the positive things in your life. We need to be able to talk about and share these things. We are conditioned to “move on” to the next problem or task without savoring the success, the gift, the beauty, the enjoyment of what we have.
I am also taken with Mark’s Anderson’s reference to a little bit of faith. We live in faith and Source creates through that faith. Faith is the avenue of getting what you want, of becoming all that you can become, of creating your world around you. It is created through our faith, through belief. The new ideas comes in the UpSpiral. It’s all in how you see it and the choice is ours.
kathy wrote on Mon Jan 4th, 1:39pm:
I am soooo thankful for this blog, my UpSpiral group, my partner and you Dr Larkin for having a vision and being able to create it. This is truely something I never dreamed possible. I am now setting my intentions for the day and what a powerful feeling this creates. Being in control of my life instead of life controling me is new and wonderful. I have to stop myself from looking back and wondering how things might have gone had I had these tools then. The past is the past and I am charging into 2010 with gusto. Thanks to all of you, and here’s to the future.
david brooks wrote on Mon Jan 4th, 7:02pm:
This was such a wonderful holiday season, thanks in many ways to living in an UpSpiral much of the time. When I think of all the wonderful changes in my life over the past several months, I sometimes get a bit starry eyed.
Even with all this good stuff, it has been easy for me to find myself focusing on the negative, without realizing it. There are so many places to be, shopping and errands, and dishes to bring - the perceived pressures can move me quickly from a relaxed UpSpiral to a chaotic DownSpiral with little more than appetizers left in the oven a few minutes too long.
How blessed I feel to know that I can get back to happy all by myself! I don’t have to wait on the events or people to come along to make me happy. I can make the shift all by myself! Just a little lean to the positive, a little emotional gym, a little “just this” with my personal oysters, toss in a strength or two and before long, I love the holidays!
It is a good life!
Victoria Koutavas wrote on Tue Jan 5th, 1:14pm:
Donna, thanks for the reminder to “Get Back to the Basics”! I’ve been swept up in the collective consciousness of “goal setting” that seems to run rampant this time of year. The good news is that a blast of desires has been ignited within me simultaneously. So in service to my leaner, stronger, physical self, I decided to join Weight Watchers yesterday.
I would be lying if I said it was a graceful and easy decision. In the past, my fast track into the down spiral was judging the extra weight that seems to be holding on for dear life. I also had resistance to joining a group of people who I judged as separate from me.
I decided to put myself in a coaching client’s chair and have a conversation. After working out in the emotional gym, I asked myself which of my strengths would come into play if I decided to join Weight Watchers and how could I reframe my experience?
Connectedness-which is top on my list-was the one that did the trick. I am more aware than ever how much I enjoy and need to be with people-period. And with my late night work schedule, my usual social connections are no longer available. I also decided to be open to learning from the group leader who is basically a group coach. So I got up and got going. What I learned at the meeting is that people who attend meetings lose more than twice weight as those who do not. Abraham might say the collective energy of the group is focused on loss and what one pays attention to persists.
Well Hallelujah and pass the cottage cheese plate-here we go!
Donna Lang wrote on Tue Jan 5th, 1:39pm:
Victoria, Victoria, Victoria,
Well it’s not quite Libby Libby Libby on the Label Label Label….
But rather it’s Victoria “Victorious” on the Table Table Table.
Congratulations on taking this step. I see you as so courageous, so willing to put yourself out there. In a major way, I can see that when someone moves forward in the upspiral they most definetly can impact people (sight unseen)
For example after reading your sharing about moving forward with Weight Watchers, and pulling from your strength of connectedness, to reframe your experience, I immediately took a break and juiced organic veggies ( a habit that died hard during the holidays)as I pulled from my Strategic Stength!
Your influence, energetically tapped me on the shoulder, pointed me into the kitchen and I consumed healthy veggies.. (with a plan to put this good habit into my daily practice in 2010)
What a wonderful spirit you have Victoria-Victorious!
I applaud you! I appreciate you!
Donna Lang
richardsnewsong wrote on Tue Jan 5th, 2:09pm:
Dr. Larkin,
You are so correct! This is entirely different from anything I have ever done!
At first, the resistance to this change was palpable - the tension so thick you could cut it with a knife. Fortunately, your process made things very simple and I headed to the Emotional Gym to pulse the 5 core emotions of Gratitude, Love, Joy, Hope and Peace with the “just this” attitude you have described.
Over time, the duration of my time in the UpSpiral increased as did the levels of my UpSpiral and Emotional Scores. Over time, the doubt, skepticism and other manifestations of negativity were indeed erased and I could sense that my personal vibration was more positive. Add some real world experience of the Positive Flush and I can see that my daily happiness is increased, regardless of my current circumstance.
One key observation of yours resonates with me:
“We are not healers, only in that healing is a by-product of the positive mind. What we need are places of positivity, where we become more positive, more optimistic and learn to view and savor life through the lens of what is good. Positive watering holes are hard to find. This is one of them”
I am thankful that healing is a by-product of my positive mind and I feel empowered to be at choice in the positive emotions that I experience. I am very thankful that I can come here to savor others that are of like mind and spirit. In stead of finding myself nursing a scotch at the local watering hole, I read, I blog, I pulse, I write my post its, I watch video, I attend class, I experience the truth that:
“Today I have everything I need to be perfectly happy!”
The verdict is in. The jury has reached a decision.
I am as happy as I decide to be and the work here at ANI supports my intention.
Thank you!
Richard Rotbart
richardsnewsong wrote on Tue Jan 5th, 3:03pm:
Donna: For someone that spent 30 years living in the Deep South….of Oregon, I really appreciate your down home explication of the word Y’ALL!!
Nega-Tinis? You are cracking me up girl! That really resonates in the strength of my Humor and Playfulness funny bone!
That being said, I would like to thank Y’ALL fellow bloggers for comprising this wonder Master Mind of positive mental and emotional energy that inspires me each week. Each post adds upon the next, until we have built a steam of consciousness that points us onward and upwards to higher UpSpirals, more positive vibrations, and stronger certitude that nothing can stop us now!
Victoria: Thank you for your open and honest sharing about something that has challenged me for many years. I can remember from days gone by when my daily attitude was inversely proportional to the number between my toes on the scale - the higher the number, the worse my attitude!
I really liked your approach to put yourself in the client’s chair and have a conversation. What a brilliant approach to access your strength of Connectedness to get yourself connected.
Victoria Victorious! I think I have another hero! Thank you for reminding me of the power of Connectedness in expanding the positive in my life!
First day back from my holiday trip to Oregon to visit with my kids and the ex-wife. It feels really good to be in my Palm Desert home letting the positive vibrations of this merry band of Blogsters expand in my heart.
At times, I may be all alone here but I am NEVER lonely!
Another example of something very different from anything I have ever done before!
Warm Regards,
Richard Rotbart
Rick wrote on Tue Jan 5th, 3:22pm:
It sure is nice knowing that my happiness is not dependent on anyone or anything showing up or turning out a certain way. There is such freedom in that! The years I spent waiting for a certain thing to happen or for someone to be different so I could then be happy. Now it is all about my choices. I have enjoyed what Abraham and the Hicks said “Tell everyone you know that they are off the hook for your happiness”.
How wonderful it is to be around people that do not expect you to make them happy because they understand that it is completely there responsibility. Great freedom in being positive and happy.
Mack wrote on Tue Jan 5th, 5:06pm:
Dean Martin had a hit song along time ago called One Cup of Happiness. Boy I think thats all i need to leave the blues behind. One Cup of Happiness and One Peace of mind. Well here at ANI I feel as i can order that same combo. Again the world is full of Doubting Debbies and Negative Neds but we are the company we keep. So I decided this year to leave behind all of those on the Negative Train. I am not purchasing a ticket this year oh my yearly pass expired. Savoring the joys of life is what I am focusing on. No more negative conversations going nowhere but I asking myself how did i get here? We are the happiness or the sadness that we are focusing on. Choosing the life that I want and not feeling Guilty about how I see my life. All of the part-time therapist are quick to label someone selfish while living their lives behind a desk telling someone to deny their true self. Isn’t this society so nice. We learn to live up to everyones expectations as to whom we are and what we should do with our lives. I choose to be happy and focus on me this year and the part-time therapist will find her services are no longer needed.
Mack wrote on Tue Jan 5th, 5:20pm:
Well Victoria I love the Conductor thing. It sparks an interest in me. I believe that we all are connected through music. For every feeling or point in our lives their is a song that we can relate too. The funny thing is that we could love the same song and you might love verse one and my connecting verse could be verse three. But the point is that the conductor hears the music to blend to his/her situation. But the conductor has the right to change the whole notes to quarter notes or half notes and experience that song in a different way that no one else in the room has. I agree with you we are the conductors in our lives and we are free to change the notes the verses and the band if they dont deliver the sound that we are reaching for.
Leave a Comment
« Back
